Friday, August 14, 2009

I’ve paid my dues – now give me a break.

My Mom is an interesting character. Since my father passed away 16 years ago, she has depended a lot on her daughters. In her mind, children are there to take care of their parents as they age, entertain their parents when need be and basically tend to their parents every whim and need. Since moving back to the city three years ago, I’ve been fairly good at tending to my daughterly duties. I was single and could easily call her most days and see her a few times a week. With the exception of not always inviting her when I went out with my sisters (which apparently is a big daughterly no-no), I’ve been mostly on the ball.

The Mr. Perfect dreamily walks into my life. Did I drop everything in my life to be with him 24/? Of course not! I still call my mother every other day and make sure to see her at least once a week. Sure, it’s possible I might have gone two days without calling, but I do have sisters who also call her. Plus, she’s the most social person I know – she has tons of friends.

A few weeks ago I called her on a Sunday and she went on and on about how she was all alone Friday and Saturday night and how she called everyone and no one was around. It was a lot of poor me whining. Even though I had lots to do around the house that afternoon, I folded and asked if she wanted to do something. So I ended up spending the day with my Mom rather than cleaning my house.

Last night she pulled the same stunt again. I had spent Sunday with her and had called her at least three times. Mr. Perfect had come over for supper and we were making a BBQ. Around 5:00, my Mom showed up. She wanted me to go over to her place for supper. Obviously she saw that I couldn’t as the BBQ was already fired up and our supper was on its way to being done. Even though we were going to eat soon, I invited her in. I even invited her to stay for supper but she said she couldn’t because she’s on this new fan-dangled diet (that’s a whole other post). She sat there for 15 minutes or so, complaining about all the food she had to eat on her diet and how difficult it was to eat all that food. I pasted my most sincere fake smile and nodded at every word. Finally she slowly got up and said, “Well, I better get going since I’m going to have to eat alone, since you’re having supper with your boyfriend again”, and then she laughs just so we know how passive-aggressive she’s being. I smile and remind her she can stay for supper, but she declines again.

As soon as she left I smiled at Mr. Perfect and he could just tell it was dripping with sarcasm. He responded with, “Holy guilt trip!” Yup. That’s my Mom. I was kinda happy he was there to see it for himself. I sometimes feel like I complain a lot about my mother, but to have someone confirm her silliness was reassuring.


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