Saturday, December 29, 2007

Another update

I was in the middle of writing a post Christmas Eve about my glorious day off when I was called into work. Bah! So if you haven’t had an update on my life you can blame Cora’s. :-)

So here is a quick recap of my life in the last 10 days

Work. Work.
It seems it’s all I’ve been doing lately. I finished my exams, had two days off and since then have only had Christmas off. At least the tips are pretty sweet this time of year. It looks like I’ll be getting a few days off next week. Gah! I soooo need it

The Holly-Days
I officially boycotted Christmas Eve. There aren’t any major family activities on Christmas Eve and since I got called into work I ended up cleaning and getting ready for Christmas day activities instead of going to visit anyone. I know, it sounds horrible, but I was so much happier to be in my PJs, getting ready for the big day than doing the rounds and feeling stressed about the work that needed to be done at work.

Family Ties
I hosted the Christmas dinner and I have to say it went swimmingly! There weren’t any hissy fits or crying spells or even any guilt trips. I swear, it’s like it wasn’t even Christmas! Mystery airport guy came over for dessert and got to meet the family. He passed the family test with flying colours… everyone loved him. As well, he appears to have come ahead in a comparison chart with previous boys I’ve brought home, so things look good.

Mystery Airport Guy
Things are still going well. We’ve been dating for almost a month now and I can’t complain. I’m still very hesitant, but I’ll stay on for the ride as long as he makes me happy. He really is a sweetheart and actually bought me the Buffy season 3 box set at a boxing-day sale because he knew I wanted it and wouldn’t be able to get it because I was working. Seasons 1, 2 and 3 where on sale for $15!!! Craziness! Oh! And I also bought seasons 5 and 7 because they were on super sale right before Christmas. Now I’m only missing seasons 4 and 6. Wheeeee! Oh yeah, back to mystery airport guy. Like I’ve said, I’m still hesitant, but trying not to analyse everything. I’ve avoided adding his phone number to my contacts list for fear that it might jinx things. :-)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Update post

Since there isn’t much excitement these days, I figured a quick update would be the way to go.

- Still dating mystery airport guy. It’s been a whole two weeks. Hah! Tonight will be our 5th date. Things are going well, but now the big question remains… do I get him a Christmas gift and if so what? Do I invite him to Christmas dinner where he will be introduced to my wacky family for the first time? So many questions! I think it’s going to be a last minute decision. Stores are still open Christmas Eve, right?
- Finished my exams yesterday and now I have 19 days of freedom (and work at Cora’s)
- I’ve started planning the menu for Christmas dinner… did I mention I’ll be playing hostess this year? My Mom is concerned my house is too small but I couldn’t care less!
- All done wrapping my 3 Christmas gifts. Hah!
- I’m planning on doing some crafty work during the holidays among which I’ll be building a headboard out of an old wooden door. I’ll keep ya posted.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Christmas is almost here!

I’m generally a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas. I hate how the holiday seems more about buying presents then about spending time with family and friends. This year I’m kinda into it… maybe it’s because I have a house now and can decorate it. Plus, with exams almost over (one to go) I’m in a more celebratory mood. Here are a few pictures of my tree and a few favourite ornaments.

My very first ornament as a child

I love this guy! You press a button on his tummy and he says tee-hee!

I love angels

As mentioned in an earlier post, the mystery airport guy bought me a gift on our first date. Yesterday was our second date and he bought me another gift! I’m not quite sure what to make of all these gifts, but gift-giving is probably not the worst habit to have, right? Anyway, here is a picture of the ornament he bought. You gotta love Cookie Monster in the background. Hah!

The date went really well. We went out for supper... fought over paying the bill (he won… after we almost ripped the bill in two) and then went to a comedy club for amateur night. At first the local comedians were really bad, but by the third one it got better. We have plans for tomorrow night.

I know it seems like such a minor thing, but I enjoyed that he actually argued with me to pay the bill. I had organized the evening so I had decided I would pay for it and kinda expected him not to argue. Maybe it’s because I date a lot of “modern day” guys or maybe they are just cheap, but I’m used to either going 50/50 for everything or end up picking up the tab. I kinda like being taken care of. I’ve also noticed, since working at Cora’s, just how rare the women pick up the tab! I actually found it quite surprising.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Finally! My new glasses

As previously posted in rose-coloured glasses, I was tested for Irlen syndrome in October. Well, I got my lenses yesterday, picked out my frames today and already have them! Wheeee! I can’t wait to see if it affects my studying at all. Here’s a picture. Just remember, I don’t wear these to be fashionable, but rather to be help with my perception issues... so be kind! :-P

I actually don't think they are that bad! I think my fake smile is worse than the glasses! Hah!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Let’s be honest… am I neurotic?

Maybe there is a reason I’m still single and maybe this reason is because I’m completely crazed! For the most part, I listen to my gut and, for the most part, my gut seems right. Right now, my gut is telling me something is “off” about the new guy. The thing is, I’ve been known to jump to conclusions in my search for the perfect mate. Although my conclusions have never lead me astray, I’ve been told I might not give guys a chance before giving them the boot.

So in my last attempt at a relationship, I ignored my gut and gave the guy a chance. There was one “issue” that kept coming up, but I made excuses for it… always finding a justification for said issue. However, in the end, the “issue” was too much and I gave up. I never regretted my decision and even kicked myself for ignoring my gut for so long. The issue was really MY issue with his issue… if that makes any sense! He wasn’t a bad guy and we had a great time together. I didn’t regret the 5 months we had together, I only regretted not listening to my gut… but then I tell myself, if I HAD listened to my gut, I would have only spent another lonely 5 months.

With the new guy I have an issue… and again, it’s my issue with his issue. The thing is, he’s 33 and lives with his parents. I know what you are saying… didn’t YOU live with your Mom for a mind-numbing 9 months? Well, yes, I did… however, it was clearly short-term and had a definite purpose. He, on the other hand has been living with his parents for the last 7 years. There is sort of an explanation for it. He was with a girl for 6 of those 7 years. This ended in July. As well, the girl lived about three hours away (for 4 of those 6 years) so he was staying with his parents until she moved back… at which point they would move in together. Sounds normal enough, right? Of course, being the inquisitor I am, I had to ask what happened during the two years they were in the same town. Well, it turns out he lived with his girlfriend… and his parents. She moved in to his parent’s house with him. So I tell myself it was for economical reasons. I told him I couldn’t imagine living with my ex in my Mom’s house. We would have to have separate rooms… probably on separate floors. Hah! I laughed at the idea. Then he tells me they had separate rooms while she lived with him and his parents. Is this not weird to anyone else?

I’m having trouble getting over this issue. I keep imagining his mother making his bed every morning and tucking him in every night. I Imagine her making each meal, preparing his lunch before he heads to the office and then, for supper, pre-chewing his steak for him. GAH! Why can’t I get over this!

So what am I to do? Do I ignore this nagging feeling? I mean, it’s not like there is anyone else… frig… there’s barely been anyone else for over two years! I will go out with him again and give this a chance, of course, but I only wish I could stop thinking this thru.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Date numero uno will lead to numero dos

Last night I had my date with mystery airport guy. We were supposed to meet for a coffee, but decided to meet for supper instead. We went to a little Italian restaurant. The evening went really well. We talked a lot and laughed a lot so I think that’s good. He even bought me a gift! I had told him about my snow adventure from the previous day and he had seen a little snowman that said, let it snow on it and thought of me. However, when he went back to get the “let it snow” snowman, it was no longer there, so he got me a different one. How sweet is that? Here’s a picture... yes, I’m a geek; I took a picture! But my blog is seriously lacking visual content as of late.

We stayed at the restaurant for a couple of hours and then attempted to go for a coffee but all the coffee shops downtown were closed. We decided to call it a night even though it was still early. No good night kiss, but I did get a hug and an offer for a second date.

Anyway, he seems like a sweet, normal guy, but I’m still keeping my guard up. Although he is very attractive, I didn’t feel a “I wanna jump ya” kind of attraction, but anytime I’ve had that feeling, the guys were always creeps so I guess that’s good. He’s also one of the few people I’ve met who can rival me in Acadian culture knowledge, which lead to some interesting conversations about our culture.

I keep looking for scary cues from previous relationships and it’s driving me nuts! Is he too needy? Is he materialistic? Is he self-confident? Does he have a strong sense of self? Single words can send me spiraling into doubt. Gah! Why can’t I turn my brain off.

Right now we are trying to find a suitable time slot for a second date. Our schedules seem to be conflicting because of holiday parties and exams. Grrr.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

SOS: Send Two-Bite Brownies and a Snowblower!

Freakin’ snow day! Moncton just got 30-some cm of snow overnight with more to come. Normally I would be excited at the prospect of a day off, but not today! You see, my chemistry professor offered us 15 bonus points on our exam if we were able to complete a small quiz this morning consisting of two questions. The catch was, you had to get both questions completely right. So, being an eager little student, I studied my heart out and was fully ready for the quiz. I was convinced the University would not be closed. I mean, the University NEVER closes!

So this morning I got up and got ready to weather the storm. I put on my snowjacket, boots, mittens, scarf and toque and headed out into the snow. I had listened to the radio and since there was no mention of the university closing I was going to get my 15 bonus points!

I should have known that when I had trouble opening the front door because of the knee-deep snow in front of it, I shouldn’t have headed out. But we are talking about 15 bonus points. Do you know what that means? If I got a 75% on my exam I would end up with a 90%!! Nothing was stopping me from my points.

The storm wasn’t too bad on my street but once I got onto the main street where it’s completely open I could barely see where I was going. Of course, none of the sidewalks were plowed so I rolled over a snow bank and started walking in the road… praying I would not get run over. A walk that would normally take 10 minutes took 30. The campus was completely dead… no cars whatsoever. I still wasn’t convinced so I made it all the way to my building. I figured if nothing else I could at least take a few minutes to warm up before heading back. The doors were locked!!

So completely frozen, I started to make my way back home. Of course, I was wearing jeans… who wears jeans in a snow storm?! Gah! The walk back wasn’t so bad... my jeans were so wet that my legs were numb from the cold so at that point I couldn’t feel anything. By the time I got home, my jeans were frozen so I had trouble bending my legs to get up over the bank. So I had to throw my bag over the curb and roll myself to my front door. Ugh.

Now I’m back in my PJs with a hot cup of coffee… dreading the shoveling that needs to be done soon. I just HAD to have the house with the colossal double driveway! Grrr.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Update on the mystery airport guy

Just a quick update on the guy my friend hit on for me at the airport last week. We’ve been emailing each other since last Wednesday and so far so good. Here are the details:
- 33 years old (34 in March)
- Has an actual career
- Seems relatively close to his family… maybe even too close. :-P
- Wants kids (always the big question)
- He’s French… which might seem like a weird thing to want, but culturally it always seems to make things easier when I date a French guy.
- I still haven’t seen a picture of him, but R and I have similar taste and she says he’s cute.
- Appears to have had previous dates. :-P He recently ended a 6 year relationship because he wanted to settle down and she didn’t.

I’m so ubber cautious about the people I date nowadays because I’ve just met way too many weirdos! If they aren’t virgins, they’re unemployed. If they aren’t unemployed, they’ve never had a date in their life. If they’ve had dates, they don’t want kids. If they want kids, they are afraid of commitment. If they aren’t afraid of commitment they have weird sexual fetishes. If they aren't bizzare in the bedroom, they don’t have all their teeth! Seriously, the dating world sucks sometimes!

Anyway, we’re meeting for coffee Wednesday evening so I’ll keep you posted. Honestly, I wish I could meet him earlier because I’m so damn curious, but with exams coming up it’s really the only evening I had free this week. :-(

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Over 30? Single?

Then you’re the guy for me. Apparently that’s how it goes anyway. My good friend R met a guy in the airport on Sunday night and gave him my number! It’s a guy she used to work with at Crystal Palace when we were in high school. They were both heading to Toronto for work and over the course of the conversation he mentioned he was single. She said, “you’re going to think I’m crazy, but my friend just dropped me off at the airport and she is single and a really great girl. I’m sure you guys would hit it off”. So he gave her his business card and told her to tell me to email him.

The ironic thins is, he works at Blue Cross which is where I used to work. I can’t place him at all, though and neither can he. No harm in meeting him anyway.

My roommate Liz totally cracks me up. I told her about this potential date and she was so excited! She said, “I’ve been praying for you so much lately… and not the crappy, lazy kind of prayers… the really good stuff!” She is just too funny!

I guess we’ll see what happens.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Show yourself

This is purely a curiosity post. I often wonder who reads this blog. I know of maybe 5 faithful readers and then once in a while I get a comment from someone and am surprised they read my blog. So indulge me – make yourself known readers. :-)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Irrational thoughts

I love my house. I really do. I’ve never had doubts that my purchase wasn’t the best decision ever. So why do I feel all weird about my house suddenly?

My house is quite old and it shows… but that’s what gives it character, right? Last night I had a potential roommate come visit the room I have for rent. For once it was someone who seemed normal. It was a young student who came to visit with her Mom. As I’m walking up the stairs to show her the room after touring the main level, I hear the Mom whisper to the daughter, “the floors are really crooked… do you really want to live in a crooked house?” The daughter doesn’t answer. I suddenly feel self-conscious about my crooked floors. :-( It’s not like it can’t be fixed, but leveling the house would make everything shift and the plaster on the walls crack. So until I’m ready to redo all the floors and re-plaster and paint all the walls, my floors will remain crooked. Besides, it makes walking in the house while drunk so much easier.

Today, the comment has been echoing in my head. It’s not the first comment of this kind I’ve heard. My Mom, for instance, hated the house when she first walked in. She felt I had made a horrible decision and should never have bought the place. According to her, I should have bought a brand new house. Ummm… yeah… cause a student can totally afford a brand new house. Even if I were still working I wouldn’t have been able to afford a new house. After I told her I was returning to school she said, “oh, now I understand why you bought THAT house”. Other comments I’ve heard from friends:
“On old house is ok for you I guess… but I didn’t want something used”
“You can tell the floors were done in a rush. They weren’t done very well”
“Hey, it’s your first house – it’s not supposed to be nice”

Ugh. Most people don’t realize how hard it is to purchase a house on a single salary. Money aside, this house is completely adorable!

Last week I saw my ex’s parents and I was so proud of myself for chatting with them without feeling my usual rush of anger that almost always comes with any conversation surrounding the ex. Now I’m reflecting on the conversation again. I’m remembering how I told them my house was about 70 years old to which his mother said, “yes, well it’s too bad you couldn’t afford something new”. At the time I was slightly irritated, but brushed it off. Today I’m feeling all twitchy about the comment. You see, I never measured up to their (or their son’s) level of class. This isn’t a rich family by any means! They are exactly the same middle-class family I grew up in, but they always wanted to be all showy about their possessions. While I was with my ex his parents commented on my car (it was a 1995 Honda Civic… this would have been 2002) and how I really should purchase a new one. Ummm… maybe I could afford a new one if I wasn’t supporting your son! They also commented on our first apartment, which was a small reasonably priced one bedroom apartment. They said it was a “dump”. It was NOT a dump by any stretch of the imagination. It was really sweet and super clean! Anyway, we eventually moved to a really nice, huge, pricey apartment downtown. Of course, they (and my ex) loved it. I was still the sole bread-winner and because of that stupid apartment I got myself into much debt. It angers me when I think about that stupid mistake. I remember crying to my sister before getting the place because I was worried about the rent (it was almost three times the price of our first place)… but my ex absolutely wanted it and I folded.

So all of these thoughts make me wonder… am I cheap? I don’t like debt and refuse to buy “stuff” to keep up with the Jones. I’m a student, I own a house and other than good debt such as my student loan and mortgage I am virtually debt-free. Plus, if everything goes as planned I will graduate with only my tuition to pay off. How many people can say that? So why am I worried that my house is not up to snuff?

Saturday, November 17, 2007


I just need to share my happy news!

I got a 70% on my physics exam. I know 70 is not amazing, but I just passed my last physics exam so 70 is rockin'! I also got a 94% on my nutrition exam! I’m so proud of myself. :-)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I can still make it!

I just got home from a meeting with the Dean of science and it couldn’t have gone better. Every time I meet with this guy, he is so completely reassuring and encouraging! I just love him.

It turns out that, even if I fail math this semester, all is not lost. I can still repeat math next semester and do the follow-up class in the spring session and still be considered for entrance in my second year. YAY! What a freakin’ relief. Plus, I don’t have to redo my chemistry lab as I previously thought.

He talked to me about the selection process and how it works. Interviews are done in May and everyone who applies for the second year and has at least 2.5 GPA gets an interview. The interview committee does not get to see the interviewees GPA so their scoring and comments are completely unbiased. PHEW! You see, this was worrying me a bit because my sister works as a Lab Tech and is privy to certain information on the interview processes. Nothing secret, mind you, but since the University offers three applied technology programs (lab tech, respiratory therapy and radiology tech), we can assume the selection processes are similar. In years past, the interview committee would not meet with anyone with a GPA under 3.0. This is worrisome because although I’ve had a 3.0 average in the past, I’m not sure it’s achievable this year given my long absence from academia. Anyway, the Dean reassured me that the interview committee will be scoring solely on the interview… and let’s be honest, I will totally rock that interview! :-) After the interview is complete, the committee then combines the interview score with the GPA (each is worth 50% or the overall score) and if you make the top 9, you’re in. Since I would still be missing a math class, they would see that I’m registered for the spring session and I would receive a conditional acceptance. Voilà!

So all is not lost and I still have a chance to complete my wacky journey in three years. YAY!

Oh, and I’ve also purchased Trig for Dummies. Hah! So far it’s really simple, but as I progress through the book I’ll be catching up on some tougher theories. Let’s hope it’s enough to get me through.

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Today, I went for a run! Not a marathon or a half-marathon or even a 5-k, but at least I R-A-N. I haven’t laced up my sneakers since the day my brother passed-away 6 months ago. I really don’t know why I haven’t been able to run… but it’s just something I couldn’t bring myself to do since that day. I guess everyone grieves in a different way.

I’m just so happy I was finally able to do it. I even have a cold right now and ran. Wheeee! Let’s just hope it sticks with me for a while. Not the cold, but the running.

Friday, November 9, 2007

F is for... Freedom?

After finding myself in the math department bathroom sobbing like crazy for the third time this month, I made a decision. I need help with this freakin’ calculus. I need to go back in time and relearn a whole bunch of stuff from high school or I’m never going to get it.

So, after much reflexion I’ve decided to abandon my math class and finish with an F. I just can’t see how it’s humanly possible to pass at this point when I can’t seem to understand any of my homework. Plus, going to see the prof ever other day asking questions and getting answers that leave me bawling in the bathroom is just not working. I’m simply missing too much of the basics.

For the next two months I will be doing my best to relearn grade 12 math. I’ve got several of my father’s old books and have started studying during the time I had reserved for my university calculus class.

This means I might not be eligible for the radiology program in September 2008. It hurts me to think I might have to add on another year because of one stupid class, but such is life. I’ll be re-taking my current math class in January and will do the second required math class in the spring. There is still a chance I’ll be able to apply for the program, but I won’t know for sure until I meet with the Program Director next week. Whatever the outcome may be, I’m ready to accept it and deal with the consequences when they arrive. Like they say; Everything happens for a reason, right?

The search for the next great roommate

I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but one of my roommates (the plumber) moved out a few weeks ago. It sucks because he was such a great guy. However, he was only in town 5 days a week and his wife and three kids were still living on PEI. He traveled each week and only got to see his family on the weekends. So he recently got a new job and moved back to the Island. I am really happy for him, but at the same time, wish I still had that great roomie.

So in the past few weeks I’ve been advertising for a new roommate. So far, the candidates have been few and far between. Plus, most of them are… well, strange.

Candidate number 1

This was by far the most normal person to view the room. However, she was disappointed that she couldn’t move ALL her furniture into my house. I told her I wouldn’t have any problem with her storing extra furniture in the basement if she needed to. Well, turns out that ALL her furniture is actually all her furniture and her former roommates furniture which consists of two of everything… kinda like Noah’s Ark: two beds, two dining sets, two sofas, two bureaus, two computer desks. Ugh. My house isn’t that big chicky!

Candidate number 2 – We’ll call her the roommate stalker

The conversation went a little something like this:

Roommate Stalker: Hi. You have a room for rent?
Me: yes… I proceed to explain all the prince includes.
Roommate Stalker: I see. How many people live there?
Me: 3… with the additional person it would be 4.
Roommate Stalker: Well, what I’m really looking for is a house with all girls because were I live now I’m getting really lonely and I really want to make some new friends.
Me: euhhhhh
Roommate Stalker: So is it all girls who live there?
Me: ummm, yeah….
Roommate Stalker: Excellent! Really I just want some friends. I’m just getting so horribly depressed these days. Say you and I can go for a coffee tonight, where we can discuss life and girlie things.
Me: euhhhh… I have to study tonight
Roommate Stalker: Then Friday will be our night for coffee! I live at xxx street. You can come over around 7:00 and we’ll have coffee. So I’ll see you then?
Me: ummmm… I gotta go, I have a class.

Candidate number 3 – We’ll call him the guy in a movie who totally creeps you out. He’s the one that makes you yell at the scream to the girl at the door: “Don’t let him in! Don’t let him in!”

As soon as I talk to him on the phone I knew he was just plain off.
When he arrives to view the room he’s all fidgety and weird. I give him a 14.2 second tour of the house. All I want to do is get rid of this guy as soon as possible. When he’s in the living room he says, can I poke your couch? And then walks over to the couch and pokes it with his finger like he’s testing out the firmness. He looks back at me and seems satisfied with the couch’s firmness and says: yes, I’ll take it. So I decided this dude needs to leave NOW so I make up a story that someone else saw the place between the time he called and showed up and that I have promised the room to them first. I tell him this other person will let me know tomorrow if they want it or not. He seems disappointed and looks back at the couch. Does this guy think he would be sleeping on the couch? I tell him I’ll call him to let him know if it is available or not. I just left him a message letting him know that my fictitious person has decided to take the place.

There has to be a normal roomie out there, right?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Good God! 23%?

I’m still in shock over my math exam results: 23... and yes, that was on a 100! Even if it had been out of 50 it would still suck. Hah! At first it was laughable… ridiculous almost. I’ve never scored so low in my life! Now, panic has started to set in. I need to score an 80 on the final to pass. Ugh. An 80! It just seems unattainable. :-( Over the last few days I’ve been going through so many emotions: sadness, panic, frustration. If I don’t pass I don’t know if I can still make up the class in the spring and still get into Radiology. If I can’t it means an extra year. You know what’s silly? The reason the extra year worries me is not because of the extra cost or the extra time studying… it’s because I’ll be 35 when I graduate which means, I can’t get pregnant until I’m 36 because I want to get at least a year in before I go on maternity leave… which means I wouldn’t have my first child until I’m 37 and that doesn’t leave much room to have a second child. Isn’t it the silliest thing ever? I don’t even have a boyfriend! I’ve barely had a date in the last year! Yet, this is what I obsess about. So, between my panic and worry, I try to let go and have faith that it is all going to work out.

Anyway, I'm meeting with the program director in a few weeks (it was the earliest he could meet with me) to review my credits and to see what my options would be should I not pass math. One positive thing, he and his secretary both remembered me from my meeting last summer and were both glad to see I had joined the program.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Think Pink – Think Money

I went to Business Depot earlier this week and saw their new collection of think pink merchandise: staplers, pens, binders, folders, tape dispensers, you name it! I was instantly attracted to the display because I like pink and I like to support breast cancer research. I bought a pack of two pens. Plain papermate pens – but pink. It cost me four bucks!! I went back to check how much money was going to breast cancer research. A dollar from any pink product sold would go to breast cancer research… no matter what the price of the product. However, after looking around for the price of similar products that weren’t pink I found that the think pink stuff was often 2 to 6 dollars more!

Social issues have become the new marketing campaign. I wouldn’t have bought those pens had they not been for breast cancer research. And, although the research got my measly dollar, Corporate America got the rest.

Later in the day I went to Zellers and started noticing just how many think pink things there are: pillows, candy, watches, soap, CDs, etc. It’s getting a bit ridiculous. Of course, I’m glad money is going for research but I can’t help but feel these companies aren’t donating the money out of the goodness of their hearts. Most of them are jacking up the price to cover the donation and then some. And we are buying into it.

So next time you see a think pink item and are about to buy it just so your dollar will go to breast cancer research… stop and think… then take the money it would have cost you to buy the product and donate it to your local breast cancer research.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Silly girl – Study breaks are for studying!

I’m “off” this week. I use the term off loosely because I’m supposed to be using the time off to study. So far it’s not really working as planned. The plan was to use half days to do work around the house and half days to study.

Saturday: lazed around the house all day (well deserved, though)
Sunday: worked
Monday: Went through a bunch of stuff at my Mom’s house and transferred said junk to my house. Thankfully I’ve managed to find a place for most of it.
Tuesday: Ran around town like a mad woman running errands. Visited my sister post-surgery.
Wednesday: So far I haven’t done anything.

Since I’m working all day Saturday and Sunday, I have 2.5 days left and am starting to panic. I have two exams next week and have yet to open a book. As well, I’m supposed to be sewing and building a headboard! Gah! Where do I start?

I should start a list, but I'm afraid I won't stick to it. Hah!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Adventures in waitressing

Yesterday I had to dress up for a Halloween day at work. As previously posted, I went as a “cereal” killer. The costume wasn’t much of a success as most people had no clue what I was nor would they ask.

To make they day even better, a few hours into my shift I bent over and split my pants! Actually, it’s like my pants just disintegrated! I had to work the rest of the shift with my ”holy” pants! I kept asking the girls if my ass was falling out… but the best they could answer was… it’s not THAT bad. UGH.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I had a date!

I went out on a date last night. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, my crazy sister Suzanne gave me her tenants phone number. I called him and we decided to meet for a drink. Things went well. We chatted for three hours or so over a few drinks and then he walked me to my car and gave me a good night kiss on the cheek. All very sweet. I’m not sure if there were fireworks, but then was definitely sizzle. I think we’ll be going out again soon.

Here’s the low-down on the new boy:
- He’s 32, divorced
- He got married at 26 to a woman who already had three kids. He said he fell in love with the kids as much as her, but then realized after a few years they married for the wrong reasons.
- We didn’t get on the subject of kids, but I’m guessing from his previous relationship he wants kids.
- He works in a bank and loves his job. He also works a second part-time job to be able to put some money aside (sound familiar? :-))
- He’s an only child and somewhat close to his parents – but not annoyingly close. Right now he’s helping his Dad build a house (knows how to handle a hammer – bonus!)
- He’s tall (maybe 5’10), dark haired and has a goatee.

I’m looking forward to seeing him again and seeing where things go.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Happy Halloween!

Sunday I have to wear a costume to work. It’s not easy finding a costume that won’t get in the way of waitressing! I’ve decided I’m going to be a “cereal” killer. I’ll be dressing all in black and will attached mini cereal boxes to my clothes. I’ve redesigned the cereal boxes to make it more fun:

I can't take credit for all the ideas as some were inspired by a group costume we did at work a few years ago.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Oh happy day!

Don’t you love having little things make you happy? Today I got one of my physics assignments back and I got a 100% on it! Wheeeee! I was so excited, I thought I was going to burst. You see, I got a 60% for my first assignment, 0% for my second and 80% for my third so 100% is freakin’ awesome! I also got a lab report back on which I scored a 90%. Yiiiipppeeeeee!

To top it all off, my sister shows up at my place with a boys phone number for me. She’d told me several times about her cute, single tenant, but I never thought much of it. Well, today while chatting with him she mentioned me, and he said, “well, I’m just a phone call away” so she took down his number and said I would call. Could be exciting. :-)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Seeing the world through rose coloured glasses

My sister Suzanne literally sees the world thru rose coloured glasses. She has Irlen Syndrome (also known as Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome), which requires her to wear actual rose coloured glasses. This is a very recent discovery. Earlier this year her son Isaac was diagnosed with severe Irlen Syndrome. The diagnosis came about thru my sister’s persistent insistence that his reading difficulties were due to perception issues and not his intelligence. You see, Isaac has always had trouble reading. He would also get frequent headaches whenever he had to read for any extended period of time. My sister’s colleague (my sister is a teacher) happened to be researching this particular syndrome, which seemed to fit with Isaac’s symptoms. He was tested and sure enough he had the Irlen Syndrome. He now wears dark red/orange shades which has made a huge impact on his school work and comprehension. At one point, while he was doing the testing, the tester showed a page with text he couldn’t read. When the tester added a coloured filter to the sheet he looked up and said, “That’s not the same text you had earlier! I can read THIS!” Apparently he was seeing something along the lines of this:

Since the Syndrome is genetic my other nephew also got tested and now wears light blue shades. As mentioned before, my sister has pink shades… which I might add are actually quite fashionable!

Last week I came home shattered because I had failed yet another exam! This time it was physics. The thing that made it more difficult to deal with was the fact that I thought I had done fairly well. Turns out many of my calculations were off. Looking at my sheet I noticed equations that weren’t properly transcribed, symbols that were the wrong direction, etc. It was so frustrating because I actually understood the concepts but because of my so-called inattention errors I hadn’t passed. I’ve heard this all my life; “You need to concentrate more… you’re making so many inattention errors”. I’ve always performed very well in school because I had the capacity to learn what I needed to learn but just listening in class. However, when it came to math or French I would always have these “inattention errors” in my work. When I told this to my sister she quickly replied you have the syndrome too! Suzanne can be very high-strung and when she believes in something she will talk about it excessively and enthusiastically. I think I kinda rolled my eyes and thought whatever you say Sue. She insisted I get tested and said she would pay for the whole thing (it’s fairly expensive). So I finally succumbed and let her arrange for me to get tested.

Today was the final part of my testing and all I can say is WOW! I hadn’t realized just how many symptoms I actually had (headache when reading, “accident-prone”, trouble with hand-eye coordination, tiredness from reading). I also hadn’t realized that I don’t see like everyone else. I had always assumed everyone saw the same way I did! The only way I can describe it is that pages seem to have a glare in them and each letter seems to have a tiny glow around them. Once the tester found the correct lens combination I didn’t see that glow anymore!

I also hadn’t realized that my clumsiness was actually due to my depth perception. I bump into things all the time and have the many bruises to prove it. At one point the tester had me walk around the room without the glasses. I bumped into the chair, bumped into the couch and got my arm caught on a purse hanging from another chair. I actually didn’t realize I did all this because it’s completely normal for me. I then did the same circuit with the lens and didn’t touch a thing. When I did the circuit a third time without the lens and bumped into everything I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically because I was actually noticing all the bumping around but just couldn’t control it.

Another thing this made me realize is that my fear of balls (no jokes please), like soccer balls, baseballs, and tennis balls isn’t so irrational after all. I always thought I was just weird, but it turns out that my perception without the lens and with the lens is completely different! She did a test where she moved a pen with a wide silver clip on it right to left, but at the same distance from me and asked me to concentrate on the sliver clip. The pen looked completely normal. Then she moved the pen towards me and I couldn’t help but back away because the pen was getting bigger and bigger and it felt like it was going to attack me. The same test with the lens did not give me the same feeling at all! Now I understand why I freak out when someone throws something at me!

The entire experience was quite fascinating. Soon, I too will be seeing life thru rose coloured glasses. Actually, it will be more of rose/amber coloured glasses. I’m so excited about this and completely sold! I just hope it helps me with my finals.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Oh Baby.

I’ve been thinking about this post for several days. I think of stuff I want to write… but then there are so many thoughts and ideas that I just can’t seem to pull it all together. I guess that’s more or less a forewarning that my post will be long, confusing but has an actual point.

My best-friend had a beautiful baby girl, Claire, on Saturday. I have many friends with babies… in fact, I think I have more friends with kids than without. However, Michelle is likely my closest friend to have her first child. I am thrilled for her and her husband. Really, I am! Yesterday I went to see her at the hospital and spend a good half-hour holding her beautiful little girl. She’s got lots of black hair and big eyes and is just breath-taking. As Michelle passes me Claire she says to me, “Isn’t it strange how a few years ago we didn’t even think we wanted kids… but you… you always knew… even in high school you knew. You know, I’d never have imagined I’d have a child before you! It’s completely surreal.” I smile because I know exactly what she means… it’s strange how you think your life will end up one way and then suddenly you are on another path and have no idea how to get back on the initial path!

I was happy to see Michelle and Claire and like I’ve said before, I’m incredibly happy for her and her husband, but as I leave the hospital I start to bawl! I can’t help but feel that it should be me having a child by now. No. Let me rephrase that. I should be having a child as well. In the last four years I’ve tried to convince myself that if I didn’t have a child by the age of 35 I would adopt. I still feel strongly about this, but you know what? I don’t want to settle… I want the package deal! I want the husband who wants a baby as much as me! I want to share the experience with someone! Ugh.

I hate when I start thinking of the future. I wish someone could just guarantee me that I will one day be happily married and will have children. If I knew for sure I could stop worrying, right? Am I the only one who is always living for the future? Does everyone think like this or is it just me? I try my best to live in the moment, but it’s so hard. It’s always been – when I have my house, when I go back to school, when I graduate, when I meet my future husband. What about today? All this fast-forward thinking has brought me to another issue: God.

I’ve struggle with faith, spirituality, religion and the meaning of life for as long as I can remember. I grew up Catholic, but I wouldn’t call myself Catholic today… but rather a person who is spiritually lost and has been for a decade or so. When my father passed-away I got pissed-off at God and renounced religion for a very long time. In recent years I’ve realized that you can’t deny God’s existence if you can hate him, right? So I guess I do believe in God after all. My spiritual struggles have kinda been at a stand still for the last 5 years or so. I’ve read, I’ve researched, I’ve questioned, but I haven’t found my place. Then, one day in August, a seemingly normal girl rents one of the rooms in my house. Turns out this roommate is quite spiritual and has immense faith. She’s Christian… which denomination I can’t remember… but her faith is extremely important to her. So much so that she has an undergrad in biblical studies and she reads the bible every day. She prays on everything! Whether it’s about her job or her most recent boyfriend. She truly feels God has her back - sort-of-speak. Her faith amazes me. Particularly since it’s something she chose as an adult and not something she was forced into as a child. I find it rare to meet someone who is as well versed in World Religions as she is. Since she’s moved in, we’ve had numerous lengthy conversations about beliefs, faith, how she feels about other religions, etc. It’s been really uplifting to talk with her. So here’s the thing. I am not the devout Christian she is and will never be… heck, I’m not even sure if I’m Christian. I can’t see myself signing about Jesus in the shower or going through my morning prayer while I ride my bike to work. It’s just not me. However, since meeting Liz she has opened a small space in my heart for religion. I think I truly believe in God again… which God, I haven’t quite narrowed that one down yet, but I’ll get there. I think Liz was sent to me because she has something to teach me.

We interrupt this program for an important message from your broadcaster:
“I swear I have a point and everything will connect soon”
We now return to your usual programming.

Are you still with me? This post has a few elements: 1 – baby fever and my constant need to know I will one day be happily married with kids. 2 – Faith. This is where the two come together.

In the last few days I’ve wondered; if there is a God and he is in fact all goodness and perfection, then he only wants us to be happy, right? If this is true, then God would never put me on this earth with such a strong maternal instinct only to have me never have children of my own, right? How could a God that truly loves me do that? I can justify every difficult moment in my life with some sort of lesson or greater good. From every tragedy in my life, something positive has come out of it. But this one… I don’t see any lesson to learn from not being able to have children. There simply isn’t anything good to come from it. I guess the point I’m trying to make (to myself, anyway), is that, if there is a God he would never let me go through life without having any children. He knows it means too much to me.

So if I believe in God, does that mean I can stop worrying?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Balance Sheet

My family has recently received some bad news. It’s really just a blip in the road but for reasons I can’t share it must remain a secret for the time being. However, my mother’s reaction to the news sent her into a downward spiral of “why me?” I must point out that it’s not even her issue, but rather a family member’s issue. I don’t want to be the negative person my mother tends to be, so instead of focusing on the bad stuff in my life, I’ve decided to prove that the good stuff outbalances the bad!

My balance sheet will go 15 years back since it’s a nice round number.

The Bad Stuff
1 – My brother’s kidneys failed
2 - My Dad passes away
3 – I am diagnosed with depression
4 – I have a second burnout
5 – My sister has a burnout
6 – My brother separates from his wife
7 – My engagement ends
8 – My nephew is diagnosed with diabetes
9 – My Mom’s boyfriend, Roger, passes away
10 – My brother’s kidneys fail a second time
11 – My brother passes away
12 – The most recent family drama

The Good Stuff
1 - My sister Christine buys a house
2 – My brother gets a kidney transplant and a second chance at life
3 – My sister Christine gets married
4 – My nephew Alex is born
5 – My brother gets married
6 – My nephew Isaac is born
7 – My niece RayLynn is born
8 – My nephew Sébastien is born
9 – My brother buys a house
10 – I get engaged
11 – My mother meets Roger
12 – I buy a house
13 – My sister Suzanne buys her third house, which happens to be the home of her dreams
14 – I finally go back to school – something I had wanted to do for the last 10 years!
15 – My sister Christine is in the process of building a house that will be exactly what she wants

So, current tally – good is in the lead! When you think about it, I only listed the major happy events… if I were to add all the daily happiness in my family’s life it would be insanely positive.

Now all I need to do is convince my Mother!

Friday, October 12, 2007

It gives a new meaning to “parking”

My 12-year old nephew has developed a keen interest in sex lately. He’s in grade 7, which, if I recall correctly, is when sex-ed starts (or at least, more detailed sex-ed). Anyway, this week he started asking questions to his Mom (my sister) about the subject. It started out as a discussion on other terms for “screw” to which my sister offered-up making love and sexual relations. He reflected on those words and then asked if there was a manual available for when you want to have sex. My sister explained that, no, there wasn’t a manual per say, but there were plenty of books out there. She offered to buy him one, but he quickly responded no! What if his friends saw it! Then he asks, how long does it take? Unsure what to answer, my sister compared it to exercise… in the beginning you don’t have as much stamina to exercise for along period of time compared to when you have more practice. He thinks about this and then adds, so how does it work exactly? So, do you like, just park it in there for like 30 minutes (he says, while thrusting his hips forward)? That’s pretty much when my sister lost it and couldn’t stop laughing!

Ah the joys of raising teenagers!

There’s no mid in mid-terms

So apparently I’m in midterms… but since the semester is divided into thirds, it’s more like thirdterms. Is that a word? All I know is I’ve had lots of exams! As you saw from an earlier post, my math exam didn’t go so well. Physics on the other hand went fairly well. My goal was simply to pass but I’m feeling I managed to pull out a C or maybe even a B! That would totally rock! I kicked-ass in my nutrition exam. I figure I either got an A or an A+; either way, I’m feeling really good about it. As for chemistry, I’m finding it difficult to judge my score. I found I didn’t spend my studying time wisely and didn’t concentrate enough on definitions. Oh well. It kinda sucks because we had to learn 85 anions and their charges by heart, but those only accounted for 8 questions (out of maybe 50). However, there was no way around learning them all because you had no idea what was going to be asked.

I should be getting my scores back in the next few weeks. Regardless of the scores, I’m feeling much more confident than during my last post. Right now, math is the only major killer!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Please tell me it gets better

School is hard. There are no ways around it – it’s hard. I feel like I’m working my ass off and based on my weekly assignments and first exam, I’m not even passing. Ugh. Current tally:
- Physics assignment #1: 50%
- Physics assignment #2: 0% (I didn’t even submit it because I couldn’t even do one problem! – This was before the tutoring sessions began)
- Math assignment #1: 47%
- Math exam #1: 53.3% (it’s 54 to pass)

I go to physics tutoring sessions 3 to 4 times a week and although it does help me with my homework, each week I’m back because I can’t figure out the problems on my own! I found out today that math tutoring begins next week, twice a week. Looks like I’ll be a steady fixture there as well. Ugh.

To get into my second year I need at least a 2.5 average. My current average, based on University Version 1.0, is 2.83. I figure if I just pass physics and math with Ds and get at least a B+ in both chemistry and nutrition I will be able to maintain the 2.5 average. However, only 9 students get into the second year and entrance is based on grade point average plus an interview (50% each). So I’m not sure 2.5 is going to cut it. :-(

Last week my chemistry teacher inspired me. He’s a cute soft-spoken little man and he really makes me laugh. His name is Hicham. Anyway, he was telling us how he used to handle exam problems that seemed complicated. He would say to himself, Hicham, you are courageous. Hicham you are not going to skip this problem. Hicham you went to all the classes and you did your homework and completed all the readings. This is just a more challenging version of what you already know. You can figure it out – just breath. :-)

So I guess I’m just going to have to use Hicham’s words… replacing Hicham with Danielle, of course and be confident in the fact that I CAN do this… right? :-S

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Well aren’t YOU funny?

So far, things are going really well with my roommates/tenants. For the most part, I’m alone most of the time. The engineer is here maybe 7 days a month, the teacher has a busy social life and the plumber goes to PEI every weekend. Most days it’s like I live on my own... but I get paid for it!

Yesterday I had a great chat with J. the plumber. We had supper together which is a rarity. I think it’s the first time I actually ate at the same time as one of my roomies! He told me he thought I didn’t eat. Hah! Fooled him! We’ve all gotten comfortable to the point were we can tease each other. J. calls me the room hermit because I’m always in my room studying. He told me yesterday he thought I was OCD because I would constantly put things back into their rightful place… rightful place according to me, of course. He noticed this when I refolded the dishcloth the way I like it. It’s important to only fold it once because if it’s folded in four and it’s wet, then it won’t dry as well. 8-) Yes, I’m a geek. Anyway, he admitted that since then he does stuff to mess with me. He moves things out of their rightful place to see if I’ll put them back. Hah! Apparently I’m pretty good about putting things back. I missed a few things so he was happy to say I’m not as OCD as he once thought. Hah! I sooooo need to figure out a way to get back at him!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Still single in the city

Well, the French prof replied to my email. Roughly translated he said, "thank you for the invitation, but my functions prohibit me from enjoying these types of pleasures. Good luck in your studies".

Blarg. I'm glad he finally wrote back... but now I kinda feel like a stalker student. *sigh* I guess such is life.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

My favourite spot

I love to sit on the steps of my little patio. It has to be the most wonderful place in the world! I sit there when I need a little break and want to enjoy the sun for a bit. My backyard is so quiet and peaceful – I love it! I love my house.

The best seat in the house... er out of the house.

My beautiful backyard

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Méli-mélo: French word meaning mish mash or jumble. Today’s post is a méli-mélo of information.

I missed a class today. I MISSED A CLASS! Gah! I feel like such a delinquent. :-( Thank goodness it was only chemistry… but still. Chemistry would be third on my list of “challenging classes” with physics and math tied for first. I guess I must have been tired because I somehow turned off my alarm when it rang and slept till 9:30 am (class was at 8:30). My next class is at 1:30 and I have been lazing around all morning instead of studying. I feel guilty about it, but not guilty enough to actually do something constructive.

Going to school is exhausting. Owning a house and going to school is even more exhausting, when I get home from class, I have the choice of studying, cutting the lawn, cleaning the kitchen or more studying. I wish I didn’t have to work part-time. It really cuts into my downtime… in fact it eliminates my downtime. I relish the days of being able to vedge on a Saturday morning with my big cup of coffee and my favourite online magazine.

What I really need is a non-student boy to either support me financially or be my housemaid. Since I can’t even find ONE respectable date, the chances of finding my very own boy toy are slim to none. Speaking of dates, I asked my French professor out. It’s not what you think; he’s no longer my professor. I found out last Friday that I had been exempted from taking French 1933. Yay! Which means that instead of doing French 1913 AND French 1933, I would only have French 1913 to do. This is a big relief, however, it also meant I wouldn’t get to see my cute French prof anymore. I decided I would attempt to ask him out. Although Dr. Couz told me I should intercept him in person and ask him out then, I just couldn’t do it so I sent him an email. Essentially, I advised him I would no longer be taking his class because of my exemption and was somewhat happy because it meant I could now ask him out for coffee. Of course, I said this in my most eloquent French. He hasn’t responded which means one of two things: a) he has a girlfriend or b) he’s afraid of the creepy stalker-student. Either way, it’s a bust.

I have to admit, I feel really lonely lately. It seems all I do is study and work… but that’s not really why I feel lonely. Even if I had some free time I wouldn’t have too many people to share it with. All of my real friends live outside of New Brunswick and the one friend I do have in Moncton is busy with an exciting life of her own. She’s married and expecting her first child next month. She has also said that, as an adult, she doesn’t feel the need for friends as she did when she was younger. She has her husband and her family and that’s enough for her. She feels seeing her friends maybe once a month is sufficient for her. Of course, I don’t think she was realizing what she was telling me when she was saying it… it was just a casual conversation about growing up and how life changes. So, to her, I’m like her period… something you see once a month.

These days, my social circle doesn’t extend much beyond my gene pool. My sisters are my best-friends and probably the only people I socialize with… oh, and my mom too. I know this is me complaining about being “alone” again, but it’s really hard. :-( I so wish I had someone to share my life with. The thought of coming home into the loving arms of a boyfriend/husband sounds so completely comforting to me these days. I wish my life wasn’t measured in pre-Mike and post-Mike time frames (Mike being my ex of course). I often measure my life in post-Mike years. We’ve been broken up for almost four years (it’ll be four years January 1) and I still count the years. Four freakin’ years and I have yet to be in love or in a relationship that has any potential for going somewhere. In these four years I’ve had lots of short lived dating adventures and one six-month relationship. Four years is half the amount of time we were together and yet I can’t move beyond validating my life on pre-Mike and post-Mike. Ugh. I really don’t get it. I’m cute. I’m smart. I’m a total catch – yet I’m still single. Why?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Point Form

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since I posted! Blogging is much more challenging when you don’t spend 8 to 10 hours a day in front of a computer. I keep thinking of things I want to write, but by the time I have a few minutes it has been replaced by mathematical equations.

Life as a student
Since it’s been so long since I posted and, let’s face it, I don’t have much time as I have to study, I’ll make this point form.
• I’m definitely a fish out of water. Everyone looks to me like they are freshman… that’s probably because a fourth year student would still only be 21. Gah!

• I keep hoping to run into cute masters or doctoral boys, but I haven’t seen too many that have that grad look.

• Even though I did most of my French classes way back when, I have to do them again. Ugh. This is a total piss off. However… there is a positive side note on profs below. :-)

• Most of my classes are killing me and leave me scratching my head in confusion. I haven’t done any advanced calculus, physics or chemistry in 12 years… the terminology seems familiar, but I can’t always figure out what the words mean. It's like trying to recall a language you once spoke.

• Like Barbie once said: “Math is hard”

• I’ve taken out my Dad’s old math books (he used to teach high school math) and have started refreshing my memory on basic information. I’m currently relearning grade 11 math… I should be caught up to University math by the end of the year. :-P

• Trying to figure out how to organize my time to optimize my studying has been a challenge. I can’t say I’m quite in the swing of things yet.

• It’s hard to even imagine having a dating life when the only guys you find even remotely interesting are your professors. Some professors, like my French professor, you find very interesting. I’d say he is about 28 or 29 and quite cute.

Life as a homeowner
• Things are finally starting to fall into place.

• My living room is painted and art has been hung up

• The space feels more welcoming every day

• Pictures to come eventually.

• My room is advancing nicely and I only have some sewing to do and a bit of construction work. More to come on that at a later date.

Life as a landlord
• My three roommates have all moved in

• So far, everyone seems to be getting along

• We’ve had a few “full house” moments when everyone is here, but for the most part, it’s very quiet

Life as a waitress
• I did my first shift at Cora’s on Saturday. Let’s say it didn’t go too well. My shoes were extremely slippery which caused me enormous issues. Think Bambi on ice.

• I slipped and fell face first once (I have the bruises to prove it)

• I slipped with a pot of coffee once

• I slipped and loss my balance once causing a plate and glass to go crashing to the floor

• All these slips were in front of the same table, with the same clients, causing one girl to scream out: Jesus Christ! Someone put something on the floor!

• On the way home from work, I hit a bunny on the highway. :-(

• When I got home I was praying said bunny wasn’t squished on the front of my car. Thank God it wasn’t.

• Sunday was much better. I had the right shoes so I felt like I could conquer the world!

Friday, August 31, 2007

I’m one in a million

I picked up my student ID today and it made me realise just how different I am from my fellow students.

I must be one the only freshman who:
- Has a mortgage
- Is übber excited to have medical, dental AND vision coverage!
- Actually exclaimed an auditable “SWEET” when realising we have a small life insurance policy
- Looked at the schedule of parties and wondered exactly how one would manage to attend all these mid-week parties on the first week of school. Did I really party all week my first time around?
- Has acne AND wrinkles
- Actually took the time to take a picture of her student ID and edit it. That has nothing to do with me being old… it’s just me being a nerd. :-)

I find it quite hilarious that one of the parties is a 90’s themed party! Complete with 90’s prizes. GAH!

En français s’il-vous-plaît

Yesterday I did my French placement exam. Basically, you write an essay and pray you get an exemption from having to do the mandatory French classes.

It went fairly well, but I find it so hard to judge if what I wrote was ok or great. I reviewed the text three times and each time found accents I forgot to add. Grrr. It’s not like I didn’t know the accent wasn’t supposed to be there, but it’s like the sometimes-absent dot above an i. Know what I mean? The room was so hot I thought I was going to pass-out several times! By my last review I just wanted to get out of there!

Anyway, it turns out that the prof leading the exam was my old French teacher from high school. He even recognized me! He left high school for the big leagues about 5 years ago. He was definitely one of the best French teachers I have ever had. He is so passionate about the French language - it’s contagious! Anyway, when I turned in my essay he asked what I was doing there so I told him about the career change. He told me he still had a story I had written for his class. We had to write a children’s Christmas story. He said he kept it all those years because it was such a great story. I felt touched that he would remember it and even keep it. Too bad I couldn’t use the children’s story instead of the essay. Hah!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Don’t you be takin’ my spiritual energy – bitch!

Pravus never ceases to amaze me. My mother has been seeing my brother’s daughter, RayLynn, on a weekly basis since he passed away. She kept saying how Pravus seemed to be nicer to her. She would also roll her eyes at me for not believing Pravus was turning over a new leaf. She’s changed, she would say, but I refused to believe her. Like I’ve said before; I’m not ready to make nice.

So last week, my sister Suzanne happened to say to my mother, “Mike must be working overtime sending us good vibes from heaven”. In the last three weeks there has been so much going on – You all know my stuff, but my sister Christine is also trying to sell her house and is working on starting to build a new house in the Spring while my sister Suzanne just bought a new house as well! It’s been quite busy in the Changa family. Anyway, for some strange reason my Mom mentioned to Pravus my sister’s comment. What was her response? In her nastiest tone: “What else is new – You and your girls get everything while me and RayLynn get nothing”. What. The. Fuck. Are you seriously jealous of the supposed spiritual vibes my brother is sending us from heaven? You’ve got to be kidding me!

First of all, you can’t say we all have perfect lives while you don’t – believe me – there’s been some really challenging stuff that’s happened in my family’s lives! Secondly, if you had actually put money aside the last five years while living with your parents, you could also own a house today! Don’t blame us – or Mike for that matter for your financial stupidity! Lastly – you are completely insane and I don’t even know why I bother wasting space on my blog ranting about you. UGH.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


It only took one month…four application requests… lots of stress and headaches… but I FINALLY have my Student LOC! What a freakin’ relief. In the end, I went to my local Credit Union with whom my family has banked for as long as I can remember. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to do this in the first place, though! Actually, I forget that I have an account there because I since living in Ottawa 10 years ago, I’ve always dealt with the Bank of Montreal. The only reason I did so was because I didn’t have access to the Credit Union while in Ottawa. Anyway, the other two banks I attempted to deal with gave me the run-around and lots and lots of wait time (29 days of wait time to be exact). Today I went in to my CU and it was all done and approved within an hour.

I’m officially ready for school!

From slave to the Man to slave to the books

I’m officially done work! It was a strange and surreal feeling yesterday when I left the office for the last time. It’s crazy to think that I will likely never sit in a cube for 8 hours a day, ever again! Not to say I’m not going to work, but my new career I won’t be working in an office.

I’m heading back to school in a week and am nervous as hell. Last night I commemorated the moment with a trip the Staples for some school supplies. As I walked through the aisle of paper and pens, I was giddy and queasy all at the same time. I took me at least 30 minutes to pick out my pens. I had always used colourful fine-point pens at work as they come in handy for proofing, but since I’ll be copying notes most of the day I needed something sturdier… something that wouldn’t smear. There are a lot of pens out there! There should really be a pen testing area at Staples. I ended up picking up a set of gel pens, but I already doubt my decision. Another trip to Staples might be in order.

The rows and rows of supplies were completely overwhelming. What did I need for my first day of school? Should I buy a calculator right now? What if I buy one that doesn’t have the functions I need? What if I don’t buy one and I need it for my first math class. Oh the drama. What about a pencil case? Do I need a pencil case in University? My memory of my former years as a student is so fuzzy! University students should get list similar to grade one students that tells you (or your mommy) exactly what you need. One yellow duo-tang – check. One red pencil – check. One 36 cm ruler – check. This would make things so much simpler. I decided I would stick to the basics for the time being: loose-leaf paper, binders, pens, pencils, and highlighters.

You’d think picking binders would be simple enough. When did binders become so bloody expensive? Whenever I needed anything at work, I just flipped through the pretty catalogue, picked out the goods and gave my list to the secretary. The next day, my toys would magically appear. No such luck as a student. So back to the binders. The cheapest ones were $5 and looked pretty flimsy. The price range for a basic binder went all the way up to $19. What exactly are you going to be doing with a binder that you need to pay $19 for it? I opted for the semi-cheap ones at $8. Even with my minimal supplies, the total still came to $55. Ugh.

Today is a day of complete relaxation. I had originally planned on working on the house today, but you know what? I deserve a day off! The next few days are going to be hectic and busy and I need to be rested for my new adventure.

I’ve got me a plumber.

I’ve finally rented out all three rooms in my house. The trio of borders makes for an eclectic mix.

1 – We have the engineer who works like crazy so I barely see her (so far, three times this month)
2 – We have the sweet supply teacher who seams to be pretty cool. She would be considered my perma-roomie as she really is the only one who is here every day.
3 – Finally, we have the plumber. He’s in his early 40s and is married with kids. He actually lives in PEI and works in Moncton during the week. Which means he will never be here on weekends. He works 12-hour days and just needs a place to crash at night. He’s also offered to fix anything that needs fixing around the house – bonus!

It should be interesting should all three renters be at the house at the same time.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The nightmare room - before and after

This was the room when the previous owners were here.

This was the room before I removed the shelves. They had lots of shelves in that room. The plan was simply to remove the shelves and repaint the room...

After removing the sheleves... hmmm... there seams to be wallpaper here... I wonder what is underneath it?

Ah yes! Faux wood panneling wallpaper!


Once all the wallpaper was removed, it was on to repairing the wall!

After painting the walls, I repainted the floor, which was black with splatters of pink paint! One thing I learned... don't leave your coffee cup on the windowsill when painting a floor or you won't get your coffee back for another 24 hours!

Me, realising I lost my coffee.

The final product!

My room is still very much a work in progress, but here is a sneak peak. The wall colour:

This will be my duvet with the fabric for my bedskirt and pillows

This is the bureau I've refinished

I'll post pics once it's complete.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Someone stop me!

I’ve just accepted ANOTHER job.

In a few weeks I’ll be waitressing at Cora’s (yummy breakfast place). I’m excited and happy with my decision.

My current employer didn’t want to keep me on retainer and just wants to pay me on a per hour, as needed basis. I could go weeks without a paycheque so I decided to explore other options.

I applied yesterday and was offered the job today. I’m still going to keep the catering gig for the time being (maybe even till the end of September), just to make sure it works out with Cora’s. I’ll also do a few contracts for my current employer and see where things go with them. The moment I gets to be too much I’ll stop.

The best part is, since it’s a breakfast and lunch place I would never work later than 2 or 3 pm. Plus, with the tips I’ll be making I might even be able to keep my car! How crazy is that? I’m still looking to get out of the lease but not so worried if I don’t find a buyer right away.

I guess all the panicking earlier this week was for nothing.

The dyslexic carpenter

I think a dyslexic carpenter used to own my house. I swear; everything is upside down. Door hinges are inside out, light sockets, switches and door handles are upside down, walls and floors are just plain crooked. Obviously, you wouldn’t call it dyslexia… it would be a dystexo based on the inability to construct accurately. Hmmmm. I might have discovered a new disease state. Although it’s a bit annoying when you are trying to replace something and are challenged to figure out how the heck this thing got installed, it also makes me feel at home. I think my Dad was dystexo. Lots of things are upside down in my Mom’s house. Often, things wouldn’t quite fit so duct tape became his best friend.

So as I look at my crooked house, I can’t help but smile and feel that my Dad is looking down on me, smiling too.

PS: I’m really not trying to make light of dyslexia! My nephew has dyslexia and he works his little heart out to keep up with everyone else.

Monday, August 20, 2007

What is the universe trying to tell me?

I’m having a bad day. Two months ago it seemed like everything was pointing me in the direction of a new career, but lately the universe seems to be making things a tad more complicated. The financial situation isn’t what I was hoping it would be – here is the run down:
- My second request for a loan has been denied. My alternate option has possibly gone bust as well (can’t get into it online)
- I was hoping to be kept on a retainer with my currently employer, but they didn’t’ bite. They will keep me on, but only pay me what I bill them each week. This means it won’t be the stable paycheque I had hoped for. Right now I just want to ditch them completely as I will have to suffer through more stupid writing without the income I wanted.
- I’ve advertised my car lease for the last week in the local paper and not one call.
- I still have one un-rented room

I’m feeling exhausted by the pressure. Between the unanswered financial issues and the home repair, I’m just so tired. I also feel like there is no one to talk to. I usually go one about such things on my blog, but not being able to get into the details (and have someone on the other end say – my God that’s ridiculous! You deserve better) makes me feel lost. My sister is also in Paris right now (bitch) and she is normally the one I tend to turn to.

I’m starting to doubt myself.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Is it a boy or a girl?

I placed an ad for room rentals over the weekend. I have two rooms available. So far, I’ve had one girl check out the place and she seems fairly interested. I hope she takes it! She’s a teacher and seems like a sweet person.

My problem is… I have a guy who called as well and he is coming to check out the place in a bit. I would really prefer women, but in desperate times I would take a guy. I still have two weeks before September first and am debating if I should say the place is renting to this guy and wait it out for another roommate possibility.

I haven’t even met the guy, but his voice was just a little creepy. I’ll wait until I meet him… but in the end I’ll have to go with my gut, I guess.

Edited to add: The teacher took the room and the guy never showed so no decision to be made. One down. One to go.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I dream of men

It's not as exciting as the title implies... I just had the strangest dreams last night.

At the beginning of the dream I was with Mike... not Mike my brother, but Mike my ex... he came to me for advice on buying a condo. We went condo shopping and I was incredibly frustrated at his need for a lavish abode and his complete financial irresponsibility. He had debts up to his ears, no job and no savings, but he was still looking at condos that were 50,000 more than what I paid for my house. Apparently in my dream we had broken up and gotten back together several times. As we are looking for a realtor I realize just how much he annoys me and want to have nothing to do with him again, but feel bad for dumping him for a fourth time. So I make a run for it while he is talking to a realtor.

Once I leave Mike, I meet up with an elementary school friend I haven't seen in years. She invites me to a party, so we pile into a car and head to her place. My Mom is driving as she is also going to the party. On the way there we stop at the University and my childhood friend gets out of the car only to fall into a river. The party-goers decide to get the friend some clean clothes and I decide to stick around the University while they finish up. I tell the group to call on my cell when they get back to the University. The University is now a grandiose maze of underground tunnels with stores like Walmart, Future Shop and Lawton's Drug Store. I make my way through the maze and am astonished by how much the University has changed since the last time I was here.

I make my way into an unfinished tunnel with leaky plumbing. There, I see Lac-Hong, my boyfriend when I was 17. In the dream he is an engineer working on creating more tunnels... this makes no sense as he is actually a professional cello player in real life. Anyway, we chat and he gives me a wad of cash saying it's for the booze I'll be drinking at the party. He kisses me, but then pulls back saying he forgot he was married. We say goodbye and I make my way above ground. The sun is amazingly bright as I climb the stairs out of the tunnel. Just then, my cell phone rings. Apparently my friends had been calling for hours but I couldn't get reception in the tunnel. Standing outside the University building is Mike... not my ex Mike, but my brother Mike. He gives me some corny gift that has a picture of him and I... but it's from when I was a teenager. He tells me he is leaving for Montreal or Vancouver to start a new life. He looks very healthy. He tells me to come visit often and if I ever have a boyfriend to bring him with me. He also adds that my boyfriend would have to sleep at a friend's house because he wouldn't want us to sleep in the same bed. Somehow, this makes complete sense to me. My sister Suzanne is there and she laughs at my brother's corny gift... I kick her for laughing and she stops. I hug Mike and tell him to drive safely. The hug seems to last forever... then I wake up.

Happy analysing! :-)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

But what do you really think?

It’s strange to see the different reactions from people when I tell them I’m going back to school. I usually get one of three responses:
a)An enthusiastic: Wow! That’s awesome! Kudos to you for following your dreams
b)A look of total confusion with some congratulatory statement… often followed by, didn’t you just buy a house?
c)Radiology... but it’s so different?

I know some people really don’t get it. I don’t understand why it’s so shocking that I’m going back to school in a field completely unrelated to my current field… yeah, like an 18-year old never makes the wrong career choice?! If I wanted to stay in a similar career wouldn’t I just change jobs? I guess I find it hard to understand why people are so afraid of change since this fear doesn’t seem to exist in me.

Also, I kinda hate having to justify my actions. Yes, I DID just buy a house, but it’s all part of the plan! Hello?! I just didn’t go on vacation and decide on a career change! If only people understood just how thought out my plan actually was. You guys have seen the process... I’ve done pretty much everything to ensure I’m making the right move!

Do you ever just wonder what people really think of you? I feel like my current co-workers might gossip about me behind my back. Like: “What’s up with Changa and that weird light on her desk” or “Can you believe she just bought a house on her own” or “What the hell is she thinking going back to school” or “I bet you she suddenly decided on a career change because her brother died”, etc. I couldn’t care less if they talk about me, I just find it interesting. I guess I haven’t really opened up to my co-workers so I’m a bit of a mystery to them. If only they understood the inner workings of my complex mind. :-)

This might sounds like a rant, but it’s not. It’s just some random thoughts.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The Talented Ms Changa

My first day back and I’m already looking forward to the end of the day. :-P I arrived this morning to numerous questions along the lines of “what the heck are you doing?” People seem happy for me, but also somewhat sad/frustrated to be loosing a team member. It’s so odd to hear people saying; but you’re so talented! I don’t feel talented. I’m not trying to be facetious here; I really feel I don’t excel in this field.

It’s always been this way with my writing. Throughout my school years I would bounce from one teacher saying I was a wonderful writer to the next one saying I was a crappy writer. I think part of me went into communication to prove I was capable of doing it. If I was so talented, I doubt everything I write or create would be riddled with red markings. And if this field were really the one for me, it wouldn’t feel like having my teeth pulled every time I had to write something.

What defines talent in a field like marketing/communication? Is it the ability to write? To create? To innovate? By what standards are these talents evaluated. Gah! I’m so happy to be leaving this ambiguous field!

On to the new stuff!
I’m trying to decide what kind of work I’ll be doing come September. My current employer has offered me 5 hours a week to do occasional communication pieces. I’ve also got the catering gig which can give me anywhere from 5 to 15 hours a week – but it’s not very consistent. I’m trying to decide if I should work the 5 hours for my current employer + the catering gig or give up both and do maybe 15 hours of waiteressing a week.

Pros and Cons

Pros of doing 5 hours a week for current employer
Salary would cover ¾ of my required income to survive
Stable and constant salary

Writing about yucky things like children’s dental coverage
Not being able to have a clean break

Pros of keeping the catering gig
I really have fun at the job
I like the people I work with
I know what to expect

Hours are unstable
Hours will greatly diminish in the New Year
Potential for some really late nights (3 AM)

Pros of finding a new waiteressing job
Potential to cover my costs in one job
The places I’m looking at would close by 10 PM at the latest

The unknown – what if I don’t like it?
What if the hours aren’t guaranteed?

Decisions. Decisions.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

It's freakin' official , Baby!

This just deserves it’s own post!

I am officially a University student! Wheeeeee! I just talked to my boss and gave my notice. I can now shout it from the rooftops! I’m FREE!!!!

He took it fairly well. He laughed when I told him at least I’m not leaving him for someone else. :-) He will tell my co-workers and on Monday when I go back everyone will know.

I also talked to my Mom and she is happy for me; stressed, but happy.

In three and a half weeks I'll be sitting in a classroom. EEEK!

Hey Cuz – My Mom knows!

I took a deep breath and went for it. I went over to her place around 9:00PM – she knew something was up as soon as I walked in. I told her I had news to which she replied, oh no, what happened. I told her it was very good news. Then I just came out and said it. I told her about the months of planning, the research on careers, the financial options and of course my complete certainty that I’m making the best decision of my life. She was shocked, but after the surprise wore off she said she was proud of me and agreed to be my co-singer.

My sister Christine and I had a plan in case things went sour. She called on my cell phone about 45 minutes after I left for my Mom’s place. If I said, I’m at Mom’s chatting, you should come over – it meant, oh crap! Help me! If I said, I’m at Mom’s, but I’ll be home soon – it meant, everything is going fine. Meet me at m place and I’ll tell you all the details. We’re such geeks! Hah! Anyway, turns out I didn’t need any rescuing. When she called my Mom saw right through our plow and said: tell your sister everything is fine. :-)

She told me about my father going back to school at age 30 to become a teacher. This was just after they got married and my Mom was pregnant with my brother. She told me what a huge change in him a career change made and that if a new career is what is right with me, she will support me in any way she can.

I know she is still going to worry and be “stressed”, but her feelings are beyond my control. I don’t think there is anything I can do to make her not worry about me. I’ve also come to realize that since my brother passed-away, my mother must be feeling lost. She spent 44 years taking care of my brother… she defined herself by her need to take care of him. Now that he is gone, I think it’s very hard for her to find herself. She doesn’t know how to be anyone BUT the caretaker. On some level, I think she is struggling with her self-worth. I can see where “taking care” of me has become more important. In her mind (subconsciously), taking care of someone makes her a good person… so not having someone to care for kinda makes her less good. The problem is; I don’t let her take care of me like my brother did so she is struggling with her role. I know it’s her issues to deal with, but the fact that I now realize why she is worrying about me so much seems to help.

Now I only have my boss left to tell. In a few days it will all be official! I still can’t believe it’s actually going to happen!

I still haven’t received my student LOC, but it’s really just a technical issue at this point. TD Bank just got a new computer system and my loan application is stuck in cyber land until some techie can fix the kinks. The loan specialist I spoke with seems confident that I will be able to get the LOC with a co-signer.

Disclaimer about the post title.
My poor cousin has been reading my blog for months and following my daily drama. Every time I see her she asks if I have told my Mom yet – she is scared of slipping up! So finally, Angela, you’re free to say anything. :-)