The search for the next great roommate

I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but one of my roommates (the plumber) moved out a few weeks ago. It sucks because he was such a great guy. However, he was only in town 5 days a week and his wife and three kids were still living on PEI. He traveled each week and only got to see his family on the weekends. So he recently got a new job and moved back to the Island. I am really happy for him, but at the same time, wish I still had that great roomie.

So in the past few weeks I’ve been advertising for a new roommate. So far, the candidates have been few and far between. Plus, most of them are… well, strange.

Candidate number 1

This was by far the most normal person to view the room. However, she was disappointed that she couldn’t move ALL her furniture into my house. I told her I wouldn’t have any problem with her storing extra furniture in the basement if she needed to. Well, turns out that ALL her furniture is actually all her furniture and her former roommates furniture which consists of two of everything… kinda like Noah’s Ark: two beds, two dining sets, two sofas, two bureaus, two computer desks. Ugh. My house isn’t that big chicky!


Candidate number 2 – We’ll call her the roommate stalker

The conversation went a little something like this:

Roommate Stalker: Hi. You have a room for rent?
Me: yes… I proceed to explain all the prince includes.
Roommate Stalker: I see. How many people live there?
Me: 3… with the additional person it would be 4.
Roommate Stalker: Well, what I’m really looking for is a house with all girls because were I live now I’m getting really lonely and I really want to make some new friends.
Me: euhhhhh
Roommate Stalker: So is it all girls who live there?
Me: ummm, yeah….
Roommate Stalker: Excellent! Really I just want some friends. I’m just getting so horribly depressed these days. Say you and I can go for a coffee tonight, where we can discuss life and girlie things.
Me: euhhhh… I have to study tonight
Roommate Stalker: Then Friday will be our night for coffee! I live at xxx street. You can come over around 7:00 and we’ll have coffee. So I’ll see you then?
Me: ummmm… I gotta go, I have a class.

Candidate number 3 – We’ll call him the guy in a movie who totally creeps you out. He’s the one that makes you yell at the scream to the girl at the door: “Don’t let him in! Don’t let him in!”

As soon as I talk to him on the phone I knew he was just plain off.
When he arrives to view the room he’s all fidgety and weird. I give him a 14.2 second tour of the house. All I want to do is get rid of this guy as soon as possible. When he’s in the living room he says, can I poke your couch? And then walks over to the couch and pokes it with his finger like he’s testing out the firmness. He looks back at me and seems satisfied with the couch’s firmness and says: yes, I’ll take it. So I decided this dude needs to leave NOW so I make up a story that someone else saw the place between the time he called and showed up and that I have promised the room to them first. I tell him this other person will let me know tomorrow if they want it or not. He seems disappointed and looks back at the couch. Does this guy think he would be sleeping on the couch? I tell him I’ll call him to let him know if it is available or not. I just left him a message letting him know that my fictitious person has decided to take the place.

There has to be a normal roomie out there, right?