I think I need an update!

I've been kinda busy lately and haven't updated in a very long time. It's not that I haven't thought about posting... I even started writing a post a while ago. It started out saying "we're getting married in 42 days...". However, I never got around to finishing it and now we are gettign married in 5 DAYS! EEEK!

So here is a mish mash of updates on a few different subjects:

Changa the Bride... this is a revised post from the 42days to go post which never got posted... I'm so busy I'm just going to use it and update. Hah!
Like I mentioned a few posts ago, the invitations are out (so are the corrections) and the RSVPs are starting to roll in. We’re getting married in 25 days and panic is starting to settle in. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely no panicking about the actual wedding or the whole till death do us part stuff, it’s the freakin’ organising that gets me panicking. Right now, we’re down to the nitty gritty stuff... the easily forgotten stuff. Ugh. On the menu this week I have a whole slew of possible projects to tackle: meeting with officiant, meeting with photographer, pew markers, vows, program, schedules, linens and hair accessories... which ones shall I work on this week. *sigh*. Thankfully, the bridal shower is over and done with. Ah yes, the bridal shower... the one thing my Mom stressed over as been stressing over for weeks. I didn’t really want a shower, but my Mom insisted. She drove me a bit batty with the whole ordeal because there was “so much to do” (according to her). After all was said and done, it was a nice afternoon and we got spoiled rotten!

Changa the Bride - the update
As I mentioned earlier in the post, we have 5 days until the wedding! Wheeeee! Right now it's all the last minute running around, but I'm sure it's all going to get done. The family has started to arrive and I feel like things are actually moving along. I can't believe I'll be Mrs. Perfect in 5 days!

Changa the Honeymooner
I was finally able to switch up so shifts to get time off for a honeymoon. Wahoo!! We’ve booked a vacation to VEGAS, baby! I can’t wait! We might even get remarried by Elvis. :-P Ok, maybe not, but we could! We leave the day after the wedding and get back home the next Saturday morning.

Changa the Pup Owner
The dogs are also going away on vacation while we head to Vegas. They’ll be heading out to a pretty cool doggy resort. Well, the equivalent of a resort with lots of room to run around and muddle puddles to play in. Speaking of puddles, we have discovered that Bentley loves them... much to our dismay. Here’s a few pics of his adventure to the dog park:

Changa the Graduate



Last Saturday I received the official paper stating I have my Bachelor of Nursing. Yay! I wore the robe, I walked accross the stage, I paused for a photo op and I went home. It was a long boring ceremony, but I wanted to experience it. Now I can officially say I AM DONE! When I walked off stage, Mr. Perfect was standing there with roses (awwwww). Don't swoon just yet, though. My first reaction was, "who got me flowers... those aren't from you?" he quickly admitted they were from my Mom. Hah! I know him too well. :-)

I guess that's it for now - next time I post I will be Mrs Perfect and will hopefully have pictures.

PS: I'm sorry if there are typos... I got gel nails (a concept completely foreign to me) for the wedding and it's hard to type. Hah!

I got peds!

I got the preceptorship I wanted in paediatrics! YAY! I’ll be doing my preceptorship ay Hospital E and I start in a few weeks. My preceptorship is the final stage in my bachelor program – once I’m done I’ll be a nurse. WOW! The difference between a preceptorship and a clinical practicum is essentially the one-on-one work. In a practicum you have a teacher and are in a group of 5 to 7 students and usually have up to 4 patients. In a preceptorship it’s just you and a nurse. The first few shifts you work together while she shows you the ropes. Once she feels you’re ready she gives you the full patient workload (usually 6 to 8 patients) and steps back to just observe. It’s like being a real nurse but with a safety net.

I’m so happy I got my first choice! My second choice was in neuro but it wasn’t so much because of my interest in the field, but because it’s a unit I feel comfortable in and it would have given me some great learning opportunities.

I also have a formal interview with Hospital F on Tuesday so I’m looking forward to the continued wooing from them. Hopefully now that I have my perceptorship at hospital E they’ll get on the wooing train too.

Congratulations – You’re an adult now

I’ve now completed two rotations (neurology and psychiatry), with three to go (pediatrics, obstetrics and community health). Tomorrow I start my rotation in peds. Since they’ve had so much trouble finding teachers, they are opting for an alternative teaching style for our group. Instead of having one teacher for a group of 5 students, each student will be assigned to a nurse and we will follow her (or his) schedule for 8, 12-hour shifts. It’s actually an awesome deal for us because we get one-to-one teaching and an opportunity to learn even more. This also means I will be doing my first, “official” 12 hour shifts... both days AND nights. I've never worked nights before so it's a whole new experience for me. It will be my chance to peer into my future and see how life will be doing shift work.

Besides starting my first night shift (8 pm to 8 am) tomorrow, I’m also getting two kids and a couple of dogs. My sister and her husband and going on trip and Mr. Perfect and I will be staying with their 12 and 14 year old boys (as well as their two dogs). While they are gone I’ll be working 1 night shift and 3 day shifts... that means Mr. Perfect will be on his own for the first night, as well as for three supper/evenings while I’m at the hospital. I guess you can say it’s a dry run for the real world within a day I go from student to shift work with two kids and three dogs. Wheeeee!

Killing them softly with sweetness

This morning I emailed the clinical coordinator to apologise for my unprofessional behaviour in her office yesterday. I told her even though I was upset, I had no right to yell at her and she didn’t deserve my total melt down. Well, maybe niceness paid off because she responded to my email saying she appreciated my comment and that I had every right to be upset. She added that I shouldn’t despair because she was trying to find a solution. And guess what? She did!!!! What a freakin’ relief! I will now be doing my first clinical rotation in neurology starting next week and finish off with the community health bloc. Phew! All is right in the world again.

Am I just a Drama Queen?

Seriously. Do I exaggerate everything and invite drama into my life or does drama just follow me everywhere? I swear, if there is any possibility that I can take a detour on the way to my goals, I will end up taking it.

The latest drama in my life is regarding the accelerated nursing program. As I’ve mentioned before, the accelerated program gives you the opportunity to finish a semester earlier (December 2010, instead of May 2011). To take the accelerated route you need three things:
1. A 2,5 GPA or higher – check
2. Complete all your optional courses – check
3. Complete a stats class before your 4th year – not checked.

I was planning on doing my stats class last semester, but at the last minute, the class was bumped into a time slot that didn’t fit into my schedule. My advisor said that I could do it during the Spring instead at the same time I was doing my clinical practicum. To insure I didn’t have any evening shifts, I would have to do my Community Health bloc last it is always day shifts and my stats class is an evening class. My supervisor made the request, I got a copy of the letter and all was good.

I received my clinical practicum schedule before Christmas and as promised, I was doing my Community Health bloc last – Yay. Then, the prof in charge of my group quit for the first practicum (there are 5 blocs in total)and we all had to be dispersed into new groups. Because it was only for the first bloc of the practicum, it didn’t influence my Community Health bloc – yay. Then, over the weekend, they decided to do a little shifting around because of scheduling issues and moved me (and only ME) to another group. This new group starts out the semester in Community Health. I received an email about it this morning (the email was sent at 10:30 last night). I was livid when I read the email! I had specifically asked to have Community Health last... and this was back in September! Out of the 7 students in the group, they decide to bump me. It was completely random. Now they say there is nothing they can do as it’s “too late” to do anything. I was just bumped last night for fuck sake! I’m just getting home now from a meeting with the clinical coordinator (where I yelled at her and then started bawling). :-( I'm just so pissed off because I'm always getting shitty deals. When they put me at hospital no one else wanted to go, I didn't complain, when they gave me a practicum in June instead of May (and therefore loosing a month's work) I didn't complain like so many others did. But now, I'm not sitting back and taking it. It's just so unfair!

Why do I keep getting road blocks with this? Is it just me or does it seem awfully difficult for me to do the accelerated program?

Pity Post.

Back in October I got a call from Public Health offering me a job at immunization clinics. As a bonus, they said they would be paying me the salary of a REAL nurse. I was ecstatic! I could make more money there in 6 weeks than I could make working at Cora’s for 4 months! So what did I do? I accepted the job and immediately quit Cora’s. A few days after I quit, I find out I won’t be getting paid the same as a nurse, but the salary is comparable to Cora’s so I don’t care. Well, fast forward a few weeks and the vaccination debacle began. They cancel my first shift because they don’t have enough vaccines. I haven’t received any shifts since... and don’t have any money coming in. In the meantime, I applied for EI. Normally, students don’t qualify for EI, but the provincial government was offering some sort of partnership that let us apply. I figured, if I could get EI I wouldn’t have to work for my last year. Taking 7 classes per semester AND working every weekend is just exhausting! The thought of having my weekends to study sounded completely dreamy. Well, I just got a message from EI saying I don’t qualify because I don’t have enough hours. FUCK! I’m so upset right now! I don’t want to go back to Cora’s. The idea of having to work every weekend is making me nauseous.

I know I have to start looking for a job stat before the money runs out, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I could go back to Cora’s in an instant, but that would be my very last resort. Can you please send me happy job vibes so I can find a job with a decent salary where I could work one day a week that doesn't make me want to slit my wrists?

October Méli-Mélo

I’ve had ideas for posts rolling around my head for weeks now, but just haven’t had the time to write them down. So here is a general update on my life:

Family
First, I’ll start with the bad news. My 14 year old nephew Alex was diagnosed with H1N1 yesterday. He went to emerg after having trouble breathing, they did a swab and called a few hours later to confirm it was H1N1. The rational part of me knows that 99% of people who get this will be fine in a few days, but I'm still a little worried. I hope he's ok, and I hope it doesn't spread through my family. My other sister has Diabetes, so does her son and her husband has MS.... I don't want to think of what could happen if it spread to them.

School
As mentioned in my previous post, I had been following a family through the last months of pregnancy. It was a wonderful experience. The mother was afraid I would be traumatised by the experience and wouldn’t want to have kids. I told her if I could have the amount of control she had, labour should be easy peasy. She gave birth without an epidural or any drugs. She meditated through her contractions and was so completely focused I was amazed.

I finished the project this week with a post-partum visit with the family and do a physical assessment of the new babe. Everything went perfectly. The little one was so cooperative and I managed to finish my assessment with flying colours. Now I just have to finish my report for Monday and I’m done!

The rest of my classes are going really well. My first set of exams and projects were a few weeks ago and I did really well on all of them. The one I wrote the day I attended the birth wasn’t all that great, but considering I was pretty exhausted, I’m happy with it.

Work
Tomorrow is my last shift at Cora’s. YAY!!!! I gave my two week notice when I accepted a temporary job with public health. As of this week I’ll be joining the craziness and administrating H1N1 vaccines. I’m hoping the money I’ll make over the next few months will sustain me for some time in the new year.

Home Life
Mr. Perfect moved in a week ago and my last tenant moved out. Wheeee! The move went really well and we’re almost done reorganising the house. So far things couldn’t be better. In fact, we’re so happy we’re practically annoying!

Never a straight road

I think you’ve come to expect I don’t do things the easy way. In fact, I’m fairly certain "complicated" was supposed to be my middle name (the priest must have changed it when I was baptised). I’m supposed to do the accelerated nursing program come Fall. That means when I start in September, I don’t stop until I graduate in December 2010. To be accepted into the accelerated program, you must have a 2.5 average or higher (check), complete all your electives (check) and complete your statistics class (pending) before the end of the fall semester. I was supposed to do the stats class in the Fall on Monday evenings, but the class is no longer being offered in the evenings... and now it doesn’t fit in my schedule. :-(

I sent a quick email to my director who responded to me while he was on vacation. Apparently I’m not the only person who was depending on that class. He said they might be able to make an exception because I’m so cute (actually, I don’t think it was because of my cuteness, but let’s pretend). I still have to do the class, of course, but I might be able to squeeze it in during the 2010 Spring or Fall semester. Keep your fingers crossed. The accelerated program cuts out an entire semester of school (and debt).

In other news, I had a small financial freak out yesterday. I didn’t have enough money and was ready to sell my Buffy the Vampire Slayer collection. Yes. You read right: I was willing to part with Buffy. Luckily, the pawn shop would only offer me a few bucks for each box set so I just couldn’t do it. Complete blasphemy, I tell you! This is Buffy! It’s a classic. Since then, all my financial problems have been solved as my new roommate unexpectedly moved in today and has already paid his rent for the rest of July and August. Phew. Let’s hope he’s as wonderful as my other roommate who isn’t a decomposing cadaver by the way, but appears to be staying with someone else. She periodically shows up to wash clothes and pick up a few things. Best. Roommate. Evah!


...

Did you fall on your head or something?

Why, yes I did!

Friday night I went out to celebrate the end of the school year. I can honestly say that if I did anything stupid, it’s because I fell on my head. I had a bit of a gathering at my place, which was loads of fun. Late in the evening we decided to go to a bar. In a rush I left my house and forgot my keys on the end table. So, around 3 am, in an attempt to get in my house through the back door, I fell down the patio steps and landed on my forehead. Wanna see some pics?


I also banged up my leg pretty bad!


Like my friend Kevin told me: Dude, you need supervision when you drink.

Mid-Terms: 5 down, 2 to go

I’m almost done with my mid-terms… although some of them are 1/3 terms I guess. I’ve done five so far and still have 2 left. I’ve received my score on three of them; Lab: B (I was a little disappointed but still very good), Intro to nursing: A (super easy!), Therapeutic Communication: another A and Biology: C+ (I was actually really happy with this one given that it’s a class that I’ve really been neglecting and not keeping up with my readings). Yesterday I had an exam in Principles of Nursing (I’m thinking A or B). I still have the two most difficult exams to do: Adult Health which requires us to assess, identify, analyse and identify the steps needed to care for several diseases and/or health issues and Health Impairment (roughly translated). The second one is tough because is mostly philosophy-based and quite vague.

I’m loving it so far! I mean; I’m REALLY loving it! It’s tough and requires a ton of work, but it really is awesome. I feel like I’ve found my place.

Well, back to studying!

... $1,319 later

That’s how much I’ve spent in books and school material so far this semester! Yikes! It’s pretty much because I have to buy the big 1st year books and the even bigger 2nd year books at the same time.

I’ve been back to school for two weeks now and it’s crazy busy! Therefore, it’s going to be another point form post for now. Hopefully, once I get into the groove, I’ll be able to post more frequently.

- As I’ve mentioned before, I’m taking 7 classes. 5 classes is pretty much the norm; 6 classes is considered a heavy semester. For 7 classes you need special permission! It’s intense and doesn’t leave me much time for anything but reading and homework. There is A LOT of reading and prep work to do! I mean, I have $1,300 worth of reading! Hah!

- My classes are all very interesting with the exception of biology. The ironic thing is, biology would normally be my favourite class, but now I’ve been introduced to better things. :-)

- I’ll be starting my hospital clinicals in just two weeks. Things progress quickly in this program. I’ll be in the hospital 2 days a week, every two weeks. In the beginning it was quite overwhelmed. It seemed like I had just decided to study nursing and would already have my first client before the end of the month! EEEK! I’m getting used to the idea, though. There is no doubt that I will know by the end of the semester if I like this career path or not.

- I had read this summer that the average age for a first year student in nursing was 32. That was obviously a US statistic because I’m definitely the oldest one there! There is one more girl who is an LPN and now studying to be a BN/RN and she looks close to my age. Other then that, everybody seems pretty young. Even some of my profs are younger!

- I bought a stethoscope this week. Now I really feel like a nursing student. I sat on the couch and listened to my heartbeat for 15 minutes. Hah! Then I listened to Pacha’s heart. I already know that any nurse out there will be frowning on my listening to my dog’s heartbeat. Yeah; I’m pretty sure it’s a no-no. Her heartbeat was all whack! It was completely irregular. I checked online thinking it was a dog thing, but apparently dogs should have a rhythmic heartbeat somewhat like ours. Hmmm... I’m going to have to check that again.

- I'm back to work at the restaurant and am really happy I'm working one day a week. It's nice to have the cash and do something other than study. It's also nice to only have one day, though!

- I’m done my headboard and finished installing laminate flooring in my room, but don’t have any pictures yet. Soon – I promise! I really need to clean my room first.

- I have new pictures of Pacha, though!

This is her "Rub Mah Bell-eh" pose


When you stop rubbing her belly she does the wiggle dance which means, hey! Don't stop rubbing my belly!


"I go on couch now?"

Earlier this week my nephew came over to cut my lawn and he brought Gabi with him. Gabi and Pacha go nuts when they are together. They ran around the yard while Alex cut the lawn. After a while they came inside for a drink of water and I discovered two alien-pawed dogs!

Stupid. Stupid. Math.

Have I mentioned just how much I hate my math class? I was supposed to be done with math tomorrow. I spent the weekend studying and am more than ready to get the final exam over and done with! Last night, my prof decided to extend the class until next Monday because so many people were confused. Ugh. Of course, I’m the only one who protested. He offered to have me take the exam this week, but it had to be during the day. Umm... hello? Some of us work for a living! So now I have another 6 days of lingering thoughts of calculus.

I realise it’s not that much of a big deal but I just want it over with.

In other news, I don’t have to take an additional French class this summer. I can’t remember if I mentioned this or not in previous posts, but there was some confusion as to whether I had all my French credits or not. If I didn’t, I had to do another French class before the fall semester (meaning; starting next week). Thankfully it got all cleared up yesterday.

As of next Tuesday I will no longer have any studying to do for an entire 11 weeks!

What to do next...

What has transpired in last 48 hours has been a bit of a whirlwind. But isn’t that how my life always is; much drama, contemplation and finally a solution?

The following is version of my thought process over the last few days. Much of my decision making was helped by discussing the matter (virtually) with some great friends.

It goes a little like this:

June 5 - 10 am
I’m making a sort of cyber pros and cons list in the hopes that it will bring me clarity. I realise most people won’t read my entire ramblings, but it’s a way to help me see things clearly and if by some chance someone gets to the end of my message and has some suggestions, then all the better.

Someone asked me if I was as passionate about nursing as I was about radiology. I’m not sure I can answer that question. Radiology came about while evaluating what I liked/wanted and finding the best fit. In all honesty, the thought of becoming a nurse didn’t even cross my mind. I realise how silly that is now; but I guess I wasn’t sure if the level of stress was too much for me. I’ve had a burnout before, but I don’t know if my burnout was caused by the stress of the job or if the stress was actually a result of my hatred for the work I was doing.

So what am I passionate about?
- health care
- anatomy and physiology, the human condition, the body as a whole
- helping people
- having a job to which I feel connected
- feeling like my work means I’m making a contribution to society
- having a career that offers me lots of opportunities while remaining within the same organisation. I tend to get bored every couple of years and need a change/new challenge
- knowing exactly what my role is – that doesn’t mean I don’t like the unknown or spontaneity. It means I like knowing my role within the unknown. Science is generally very structured and covered in rules and facts. I function well in a world filled with rules.
- Above all, a career that makes me want to get up in the morning

What am I not passionate about?
- math and physics
- doing a job that is completely subjective (like, say, an artist)
- never seeing any results in my work

Before going the radiology route I looked at many options such as Nutrition, Respiratory Therapy and Physiotherapy. I wanted to study in health care all while staying in Moncton . Like I said earlier, the thought of studying nursing never even occurred to me. However, I started thinking of this option in January/February of this year. I was desperately struggling with math and physics and kept trying to tell myself that it was only one year. At one point I met a girl who was pre-med (same classes as I had) for a year and a half and had recently changed into nursing. We discussed the completely different approaches to health care offered in both fields. I found it fascinating how different the classes were and how more patient centered they were. I let that stew in the back of my brain for a few months.

Eventually, I checked out the class requirements and was surprised by how much more interesting they were! At that point I thought it might be an option if I didn’t get into radiology.

Fast forward to about a month ago... I was feeling completely discouraged by my chances of getting into the program. My GPA was less than stellar and as much as I knew I was a great candidate, I just didn’t think it was enough. Of course, as my previous post states, it wasn’t. Even before I got the news I started researching my options. I sent emails to every nurse I could think of, I talked to people at the hospital and started reading everything I could find at the Health Science Library at work.

When I got the official letter I took a long hard look at my options:

Option 1 – School part-time and work full-time
- This would require getting a part-time job at the hospital comes September. Given that I’m already a casual employee here, I figure my chances are pretty good as I get dibbs on any new posting.
- Take two classes per semester (Fall, Winter and Spring) to redo Physics I and II, Chemistry II, English and 1 elective which I’d need for my 4th year. I might potentially need to do Math II as well, but that depends on how I do this summer.
- I could do French again but it’s really a hit and miss. They are all writing classes and one grammatical error costs you 6 to 8 points each. If you have even 1 bad essay your grade plummets.

Option 2 – School full-time and work part-time
- Keep working at Cora’s and essentially redo my first year in the hopes of getting my GPA closer to 3.5. If I do option 1 and bring my Ds and Cs to Bs it would still only bring my GPA to a 3-ish.
- I’m still unsure what to do about those stupid French classes
- Why is this even an option? What if 3.0 still isn’t high enough? Then what?

Option 3 – Nursing full-time and work part-time- This option would resemble option 2, but in a different field. I have 11 of the 14 requirements for my first year. In a perfect world I would like to complete it in 3 years but I have no idea if this is even possible. I fairly certain my emotions, pocket-book and sanity cannot handle another 4 years of school.

Why nursing?
I guess I never realised just how vast the field could be. Nurses are going to hate me for this, but I always thought of nurses as the ones who hold the surgical tools for the surgeon (“Nurse, scalpel please”) and the ones who empty the bedpans. Obviously, I had that all wrong. I’ve recently come to realise that nurses do it all... becoming a nurse could open up a world of opportunity and would also give me more to fall back on. With nursing I can work with patients in dozens of fields, but I can also work in research or education.

Also, my not so great performances in math and physics have been a real eye-opener. Radiology is physics-based... what if I struggle with all my classes? What if it’s not the particular area of health care for me?

Finally, what if there is a reason I didn’t get into the program? My mother always says there is a reason for everything, but I tend to look for the reasoning. What if it’s a sign that I’m heading in the wrong direction?

Why does switching make me hesitate?
Remember when Britney Spears proclaimed to the World she was a virgin and then months later she wasn’t acting very virginally? That’s how I’m feeling. For the last year I’ve been “fighting” to follow my passion… now all of a sudden my passion has changed? I can hear the people crying out: puuuuullllease! Make up your freakin’ mind already.

What if going back to school was a way to avoid reality? What if I actually don’t know what the hell I’m doing… just knew I didn’t want to be in marketing?

What if I make the switch and realise this still isn’t for me?

I’ve always said I have no regrets in life because regretting means I don’t like the path that has led me to where I am. However, what if I don’t have regrets in life because it means admitting failure? Maybe I made the wrong choice and just can’t admit it.

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June 5 – 1 pm
Some of the feedback I received from my initial message:

“Changa this is all very well thought out. You need to drop those thoughts on hesitation though, and go with the gut and heart. Fuck off to everyone that rolls their eyes at you or makes comments. Just because you decided Marketing wasn't "it" for you, doesn't mean that every decision regarding your career and future from that point on is going to be spot on.”

“I am going straight up here because you're the best and you deserve the honesty.

I think your comment about hating physics and radiology being physics-driven would push that option straight out the door for me. Do I think this is a negative? Not one flipping bit. You spent the year figuring out what specific areas of the healthcare field might be the best fit for you. If this one isn't, that's hardly the end of the world. It just positions you to understand your own skill set better.

The nursing one is standing out strongly to me. I agree that the 3.0 GPA will very likely not be enough if they're asking for 3.5, so spending another year re-doing what you've already done is unlikely to give you the opportunity to move forward. Honestly? I'd close that door.

You can do it, D, and don't spend a single second worrying that people will question or judge or whatever - you're doing the right thing and following your instincts, understanding yourself. These are all positives.”

“A very wise person once told me (recently, ha) that if you pursue something and find out it's not your passion, there's no shame in that. The only shame is in not trying to find it at all. Don't worry about what the head-shakers say, the people who really matter will want you to find what makes you happy.”

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June 5 – 5 pm
I just got back from a meeting with the director of the school of nursing and I've been accepted into the second year of the program. Just like that. It would take me three years to complete - which is the same amount of time it would take me to do radiology anyway. I'd have to take a heavier course-load for the fall semester, but come January I would essentially be caught up. If I want to, all I need to do is transfer and I'm done.

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June 5 – 6:30 pm
After a lengthy discussion with my good friend M, I realise I have absolutely nothing to loose by transferring to nursing. If at the end of my first semester I hate it (not that I think I will) then I can still try to upgrade my physics, math and chemistry classes in January in time to re-apply to the radiology program come spring.

At this point I'd be selling myself short if I didn't at least try. So it looks like I'm going to transfer!!

June 6 12:20 pm
Which brings us to today – As of this afternoon I’ll officially be a nursing student! I still have a few kinks to work out and I’m also meeting with a bunch of people to further discuss my options. I want to make sure this is the right decision for me so I’m meeting with a nurse mentor (essentially a career counsellor for nurses) next week and an actual career counsellor at the end of the month.

The more I think of my options, the more excited I get! I could work in the OR (and do more than hold the scalpel for the surgeon); I could work as a Diabetes Educator; I could work in Labour & Delivery; I could work in interventional radiology; I could teach; I could promote health care; I could be an advocate for people living with depression; I could work in paediatrics; I could work in women’s health! I am so psyched!

Side note: I'm reading a book on nursing as a career and apparently the average age of a nursing student in 2004 was 32. Well looky here - I'm exactly 32 right now! :-)

I didn't get in....

I realise most of my readers might know this already, but I thought I'd still post about it.

It's official - I didn't get accepted into the radiology program. :-( They stated it was because of my GPA and encourage me to redo some classes. UGH.

I was preparing myself for this, but there was still a glimmer of hope. Of course, I'm crying even though I told myself I wouldn't. *sigh*

I'm ok. I just wanted to share the news (even bad news) because you all have been so supportive.

I haven't given up... it just means another year of school... another year of roommates... another year of being in the poorhouse. UGH.


I'm debating on a few options:
1 - Try to get in at the hospital part-time for September and take part-time classes as well. I still have an English class I haven't done for my 4th year as well as one elective. I'll also redo physics and maybe a chemistry class.

2 - Go back full-time and redo any class below a B (while working part-time at Cora's)

3 - Quit and go into nursing.

The last one is something I've been mulling over since I started working at the hospital but I feel like I'd be crazy to switch even though it opens a world of opportunity. I think I'm just panicking over not getting in.

The way I see it, the universe wouldn't be so cruel as to not let me in the program AND have me remain single for another year, right? So I guess the universe owes me one!

So… now what?

My final marks have been trickling in and the news isn’t good. My expectations versus reality looked a little like this:

French hoping for a B+ got a C
Physics hoping for a B got a C
Physics lab hoping for a B+ or A got a B

I’m still waiting on others. Last night I checked to see if any new marks were posted and was floored by what I saw… Math: F. Yeah F, for FUUUUUUCK! This is my freaking second attempt at the class. I was actually getting it this time, but the prof’s exams are notoriously difficult. I only needed a 45% on the finale to pass so I never really expected to fail. I emailed the prof and he’ll be in his office this afternoon so I can go check out my final.

I guess this means goodbye to getting into the program. Well, at least for another year anyway. That means an extra year of sorry salaries… an extra year of stressing over money… an extra year of roommates. UGH.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night realizing that it might still be possible to fix this. There’s a spring class for Calculus 1 starting May 5 and then Calculus 2 (which I was planning on taking) starts 2 days after the first one ends. It would mean another 12 weeks of school while working full-time. I’m trying to decide if this is really what I should do. I tired out as it is… will this make it even worse? I would end up with about a month (August) with only having to work full-time. I have one more week off before school/work would start and I’ll also get a week off in July because I’ll be switching departments at the hospital. Is that enough?

It also comes with a huge risk. I won’t know until at least June if I get into the program or not. I’ve heard of exceptions being made in special cases and I might be a special case given that I’m a mature student. It’ll cost me $1,000+ for the 2 classes this summer and if I do them and don’t get in, then what will I do?

This sucks.

Spring Méli-Mélo

Here’s the latest update on my life:

- I have 5 days left until I’m done my first year of University (version 2.0)

- It’s crunch time for exams as I have 3 left. So far the studying has been going well. Let’s hope I can keep it up.

- I applied for re-entry into the radiology program (only 9 are accepted in the second year) and I received a letter confirming my request has been acknowledged. Interviews will be help in May or June.

- I’m preparing for the worst when it comes to the program. I’ve finally accepted that if I don’t get in, it’s ok. I’ve been going 7 days a week for over a year now and not getting in would mean upgrading some of my classes and maybe slowing down a little. In would set me back a year, but maybe I need the break.

- I haven’t heard back from the federal job… but the federal government is notoriously slow.

- I had an interview for a summer position with the hospital last week and that’s the job I really want! It’s just admin work, but the pay is better and I would be working in a variety of departments, which would be really cool. One of my references informed me that they’ve checked with her – always a good sign.

- I’m running again (it’s been about a month) and my last two runs felt really good! It almost made me look forward to the next one.

- I’m slowly attempting the online dating thing with much caution.

- One of my roommates attempted to toast cheese in the toaster the other day... thank goodness my other roommate noticed before my toaster became an ooey-gooey mess! I seriously don't get them sometimes!

I guess that’s it for now. Back to the books!

Round One Complete

After three days of exams I’m finally done for a few weeks. I can’t say it went superbly, but at least it’s done. I was disappointed in my French exam as I felt I just couldn’t get it together during the test. My physics and math exams went fairly well but I’ve learned from previous experience not to get my hopes up too much. I’ll have to wait and see for the results.

Then, there is my chemistry exam. All I can say is WHAT THE FUCK?! It was the most absurd exam I have ever seen! There was nothing even remotely close to what we studied in class. It’s as if in class he told us: an electrolyte is a substance which, once dissolved, conducts electricity. Then, at the exam, he asks: how can an elephant mutate into a frog? WHA?? Ok, that wasn’t a question but that’s certainly what it felt like.

I hate this. Chemistry is supposed to be my B+ class and now I’ve gone and failed my first exam... I’m pretty sure I failed anyway. All this time I’ve been struggling with math and physics… I really didn’t expect to have to worry about chemistry. Ugh. I need a drink.

Fuckity Fuck Fuck.

Who knew I studied with so many dancers?

I realised yesterday at school that many of my fellow students are dancers. I think many of them might even be professional dancers. I’m constantly seeing so many girls rushing from dance practice to class. Well, at least I think they are rushing from dance class because they are still wearing their leg warmers. And really, there is no reason to be wearing leg warmers post 1982 unless you are a dancer or auditioning for a Flashdance remake.



I feel privileged to be surrounded by so many talented young girls. :-)