Nurse Changa, thank you very much

It's offical - I'm a graduate nurse! I finished writing my final exam this morning and unless there is some sort of unforseen disaster, I am all done my BSc Nursing!

I can't believe it's done! 3 and a half years went by really fast... although it didn't always feel like it was going by all that fast some days. I'm so proud of myself... now pass me a beer!

This week’s Méli-Mélo

Bentley the Kleptomaniac
It would appear we have a sneaky kleptomaniac on our hands. Bentley likes to collect things and hide them in his crate. We’re crate training right now so unless we have all our attention on him, in the crate he goes. This way, if we catch him doing something he isn’t suppose to do, we can correct him immediately. He’ll be in the crate for a month or two until he learns the rules of the house. For the most part, we’re pretty good at keeping an eye on him, but once in a while we’ll slack off, i.e., I’m just going to run upstairs to pee, he’ll be fine for a minute or, I forgot something in the basement, I’ll be right back. And that’s when the klepto strikes! His favourite steal is Mr Perfect’s slippers. Other things he’s stolen? A box of Kleenex, a dish towel, plastic cups, one of my slippers and a plastic cover for a juice container. The thing is, he never even attempts these things when we’re around. Silly dog.

Bentley the sleeper
We’ve had our big guy for a little over a week now and going to bed is now under control. He no longer cries when we go to bed – success. He does, however, cry bloody murder from 6 am until we get up. *sigh* So far we’ve been ignoring him and hoping this will eventually stop. He’s such a lazy little bugger too! It amazes me that a dog that can run 45 miles/hour can be so lazy! After our evening walk with the dogs, then are both done for the night. It’s hard to get either one up for the last pee of the night! Hah!

Pacha the little big sister
It would seem to Pacha that Bentley has always been around. It’s like she doesn’t realise that he’s new! They both get along great and Pacha is usually the one who initiates play when we are outside. It’s wonderful to see our little girl playing because it’s not something she does very often. She also seems to like Bentley’s crate. The other day I was getting Bentley ready to go to the vet and Pacha came up when she realised I had taken Bentley’s leach out. She knows they always go for walks together and she got excited for the potential outing. I told her no, only Bentley was going to the vet. If she knew the word vet, I know she would be happy she wasn’t going. I finish getting Bentley ready and turn around looking for Pacha. Where was she? In Bentley’s crate. She was like: “the big guy is going out? Woohoo! I get the big bed!” Tee Hee! Another thing she does which makes me laugh, is she’s always walking under him... like it’s perfectly normal for her to do so. If he’s in her way she won’t walk around him, she’ll just stroll under him. Hah!

Preceptorship – 66% done!
I can’t believe I’m two thirds of the way through my preceptorship! Holy crap! I’m almost a nurse! The preceptorship is going really well and the staff is even trying to convince the nurse manager to hire me... even though there is a hiring freeze. It feels great to be wanted. :-) Pediatrics is really my world.

My future – I signed on the dotted line
It’s official! I have a job in January. I finally signed with Hospital F last week and I was assigned to the pediatric department! I am so happy! Even though my preceptorship is with Hospital E, I’m really happy to have signed with Hospital F. For the time being, I think it’s a better fit for my personality.

I think that’s it for now!

It’s Crunch Time!

This week it was back to school and I realised just how accelerated the accelerated program really is! Essentially, I have 60 days to finish up the bulk of my semester. WOW! That means 6 weeks of concentrated classroom time (one week for mid-session break), 4 exams and 4 major research projects in the next 60 days! Once those 60 days are done, all I have left is my perceptorhip which is 12 shifts, one-on-one with a nurse. The wonderful thing about the perceptorship is no homework, no exam, no projects! It’s just 12 shifts of normal work and I’m done!

This semester is going to be a whirlwind!

One Last Time

I realise I’m much more excited than I should be, but this morning I registered for Fall classes and I realised it’s the last time I’ll be registering for classes FOREVER! I won’t have to fight with the stupid computer program that always blocks my registration because it thinks I don’t have all the required classes. I’ll be paying my tuition for the last time.... I’ll be waiting in line for hours for my student for the last time... I’ll be buying school supplies for myself for the last time. It’s all so exciting!

Screw Optimal Trajectory!

Who cares if the universe is telling me not to do the accelerated program (see previous post) – cause I’ve been accepted into the program and will now be graduating in December! Wahoo! In 7 months I’m going to be a real nurse. EEK!

I’m really excited and hoping the universe will not try to screw with me again. :-)

Optimal Trajectory

I heard the term Optimal Trajectory while watching the movie Men who Stare at Goats the other day. I can't say that the movie is awe inspiring or life altering, but those words struck a chord with me. The idea behind Optimal Trajectory is that for every person, given his/her beginning circumstances and innate ability, there exists an ideal path for that person's life. In other words, life is like a river, if you choose your optimal trajectory, you flow with the current and reach your goal smoothly. If you decide to go against your optimal trajectory, you’re constantly fighting the current.

The phrase didn’t stick with me because of some big life path, but rather one small element of my life: the accelerated degree. Yes; I’m still talking about it. Even though I haven’t been accepted into the program, it feels like it just won’t go away. Ever since I decided I wanted to do the accelerated program almost two years ago, I’ve been coming up against road block after road block. First it was courses that weren’t going to be credited, then it was a scheduling issue with my statistics class, then it was a rearranging of my clinical rotation and now this mishap with my GPA. It would appear that the universe is telling me this is NOT my optimal trajectory, right? Then why can’t I close that damn book and move on?

I’m still waiting on an administrative decision to recalculate my GPA so I can actually fight for my right to be in the program, but they are so slow. It’s been almost two weeks since my initial meeting with my director. I’ve called four times and still nothing. Even if I get my GPA corrected, there is still lots of fighting to do. Is it really worth it? For some reason, I can’t fight the feeling that I’m going to get into the program. With every roadblock and every bump in the road, I’ve always had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it would all work out. Maybe if I didn’t have that feeling I could just stop fighting and accept this new reality but I just can’t shake it.

I already know that if I don’t get in, I’m going to have this nagging feeling until mid-July which is when the program is set to begin. From now until that day, there is still hope... which means I won’t be able to move on until then.

Options.

I met with my director this morning and it appears my stats class was not the reason I was not accepted into the program... my grade point average was the problem. Apparently, because I was exempted from two courses last year (psychology and chemistry – due to previous classes I had done), their replacement courses aren’t included in my GPA. In other words, my GPA is calculated using my scores for 83 credits, but divided by 89 credits. I’m not sure I’m explaining it very well. :-S Essentially, my GPA is 3.2 but according to their calculations it’s 2.99 which makes me fall short of the cut off line of 3.0. According to my director, they chose to accept everyone with a 3.0 average, even if their requirements were for a 2.5. There were just too many candidates. As well, my 2.99 was a major debating point on the selection committee, but in the end, the rule said I just didn’t make the 3.0 cut off. Armed with this new knowledge, I’ve been told I’m next on the list for a spot. Should someone quit, I’m in.

But now, I just don’t know what I want. I crunched the numbers and talked to a few people today and the difference between the accelerated and the normal program is actually 3,094$ and 4 months. I’m torn between the two. My list of positive points are looking pretty good right now... if I get the chance, should I push myself for an early graduation? What’s 4 months in the grand scheme of things? My director kept telling me the accelerated program was brutal and that I shouldn’t even be pushing for it, while a recent nurse graduate told me it’s a piece of cake.

Gah! What to do. What to do.

5 months. 5 grand.

Well, it looks like I won’t be graduating in December 2010 as I had previously hoped. :-( I wasn’t accepted into the accelerated program because of scheduling technicality. Ugh. I needed my statistics course to be accepted, and because I had a scheduling conflict last Fall, I wasn’t able to do it. As I’ve mentioned before, I had been able to rearrange my clinical practicum schedule to do my statistics class in the Spring, but my acceptance was dependant on the number of applicants. They’ve always had a dozen or so applicants, but this year they had 32. Blarg. 21 where accepted.

It really sucks because students who failed practicums last year where accepted before me. I get that, in theory, there’s a risk I don’t pass my stats class, but I think I should still be accepted before people who have failed classes, no?

Anyway, I’m done fighting this. It seems like I’ve had constant road blocks with this. I guess I’m just not meant to graduate in December. I’ve been trying to focus on the positive things:
- I get to attend a real convocation - something I've been looking forward to for a very long time;
- With four classes one semester and 3 the next, it should be fairly mellow compared to previous years;
- I might work part time in health care, which means more experience;
- I won’t start working already burnt out from school;
- More time to study for my national exams;

I guess it’s not so bad, right?


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Teacher’s Pet

I’m currently doing my second of 5 clinical rotations in psychiatry. My first rotation was a six week stint in neurology. I really loved the department and got to work with some amazing patients, but I can’t say I loved my practicum. So far, my current practicum has been pretty sweet! The major difference between the two rotations is mostly my standing in the group. Because of scheduling issues, my group was split into several groups for the first rotation so this is the first time we are all together. I’ve been matched up with some good students both times, but there always seems to be a pecking order. In my neurology rotation I was on the bottom of the totem pole while on this one, I’m the star pupil. The difference is amazing, yet somewhat disturbing.

In my neurology rotation we were 7 students and I would say we were all on an even playing field (somewhat anyway). The teacher assigned to us, we’ll call her Ginger, was teaching for the very first time so she had quite a few challenges. No matter how hard I tried I always got a bad vibe from her. I always got the feeling she didn’t feel I was doing a good job, even though I was doing exactly the same thing as the others. My friend and fellow student Sarah (not her real name) was definitely the star pupil in the group... and she didn’t seem to see why I was so frustrated. In her eyes, Ginger was an awesome teacher who gave us lots of freedom and didn’t ask much of us. Maybe it was because I was a more demanding student: I didn’t like when she cancelled our clinical (something she did 4 times) or cut them short (at least 2 hours every day) and would get frustrated because she never gave me any of the challenging cases. Sarah on the other hand got to do all the cool stuff: insert an NG tube, insert a couple of IVs, insert a catheter, attend a neuro surgery, etc. I did nothing but bath my patients... and I mean NOTHING. It was incredibly frustrating. All the other students got to try new things and each passing was just another week I didn’t get to do anything. I ended up with a B, which was the lowest grade she gave. Humph. Anyway, the clinical is over with so I’m moving on.

In my new rotation, however, I’m the one getting the special treatment. Whenever I make a mistake my teacher (Nadine), brushes it off saying something like, I know you knew better, so don’t worry about it. I get to do things no one else does too. On Friday I’ll be at the children and adolescent psychiatric unit; a privilege no one else ever gets. She’s also said that next week I can job shadow the psychiatric nurse in Emerg. She’s constantly praising me and telling me what a bright student I am and how much potential I have. It’s awesome to have all these opportunities, but I’m also feeling guilty about it. This new group of students isn’t as evenly matched as my previous group. Out of five students including myself I would say two are strong students, two are strong students lacking self-confidence and one is out in left field. Also, Nadine is the type of teacher who makes you suffer if you aren’t up to her standards or if you don’t stand by your convictions. She yells at students, degrades them and makes them cry and want to quit on a daily basis. It really sucks for the students who have a target on their back, but they also didn’t come prepared for the clinical either. One student in particular, “Linda” is a mature student who has been doing her Bachelor for-ev-er. She’s failed a few classes because, as she said, “the teacher made her fail”, and keeps screwing up on a daily basis. On our first day she showed up in street wear when everyone else was in scrubs. That same week she missed her assignment because “no one told her she had to go to the hospital to get it” and yet the other 4 students had clearly understood we had an assignement. It takes her 30 minutes to give meds to 2 patients when it takes about 5 to 10 minutes for everyone else. Nadine LOVES to pick on her and boy does she! The more Nadine screams, the more Linda flails. It’s really sad to see.

All this to say that it’s awesome getting special treatment, but I don’t want the other students to start hating me. I mean, for one thing it’s not fair and for another, we’re going to be together for another 4 months! I keep trying to remind myself to just take advantage of all the opportunities I’m getting (it is my career, after all) while remaining level headed as possible. I try my best to help out the students and encourage them, because two of them just need to know they are doing a good job, but even that doesn’t work because now Nadine has told me that she’ll be lowering my grade if I keep helping everyone else. Grrr.

Anyway, I guess I just have to remember to keep my ego in check because my next rotation could do a 180! It’s tough when so much of your grade depends on how well you “connect” with the prof.



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Killing them softly with sweetness

This morning I emailed the clinical coordinator to apologise for my unprofessional behaviour in her office yesterday. I told her even though I was upset, I had no right to yell at her and she didn’t deserve my total melt down. Well, maybe niceness paid off because she responded to my email saying she appreciated my comment and that I had every right to be upset. She added that I shouldn’t despair because she was trying to find a solution. And guess what? She did!!!! What a freakin’ relief! I will now be doing my first clinical rotation in neurology starting next week and finish off with the community health bloc. Phew! All is right in the world again.

Am I just a Drama Queen?

Seriously. Do I exaggerate everything and invite drama into my life or does drama just follow me everywhere? I swear, if there is any possibility that I can take a detour on the way to my goals, I will end up taking it.

The latest drama in my life is regarding the accelerated nursing program. As I’ve mentioned before, the accelerated program gives you the opportunity to finish a semester earlier (December 2010, instead of May 2011). To take the accelerated route you need three things:
1. A 2,5 GPA or higher – check
2. Complete all your optional courses – check
3. Complete a stats class before your 4th year – not checked.

I was planning on doing my stats class last semester, but at the last minute, the class was bumped into a time slot that didn’t fit into my schedule. My advisor said that I could do it during the Spring instead at the same time I was doing my clinical practicum. To insure I didn’t have any evening shifts, I would have to do my Community Health bloc last it is always day shifts and my stats class is an evening class. My supervisor made the request, I got a copy of the letter and all was good.

I received my clinical practicum schedule before Christmas and as promised, I was doing my Community Health bloc last – Yay. Then, the prof in charge of my group quit for the first practicum (there are 5 blocs in total)and we all had to be dispersed into new groups. Because it was only for the first bloc of the practicum, it didn’t influence my Community Health bloc – yay. Then, over the weekend, they decided to do a little shifting around because of scheduling issues and moved me (and only ME) to another group. This new group starts out the semester in Community Health. I received an email about it this morning (the email was sent at 10:30 last night). I was livid when I read the email! I had specifically asked to have Community Health last... and this was back in September! Out of the 7 students in the group, they decide to bump me. It was completely random. Now they say there is nothing they can do as it’s “too late” to do anything. I was just bumped last night for fuck sake! I’m just getting home now from a meeting with the clinical coordinator (where I yelled at her and then started bawling). :-( I'm just so pissed off because I'm always getting shitty deals. When they put me at hospital no one else wanted to go, I didn't complain, when they gave me a practicum in June instead of May (and therefore loosing a month's work) I didn't complain like so many others did. But now, I'm not sitting back and taking it. It's just so unfair!

Why do I keep getting road blocks with this? Is it just me or does it seem awfully difficult for me to do the accelerated program?

I’m a total BAAAAABe!

I’m a Babe with lots of As because those are my final marks for the semester: one B, one B+, one A- and four As! Yippppeeeee! My only “disappointment” is my B in paediatrics. The class was killer and even though I spent the most time studying for that class, I just couldn’t bump up that score. Plus, I am 0.25 away from a B+... so close, yet so far!

Before Mr. Perfect moved in, he was worried he would influence my studies. Turns out he DID have an influence on my studies, but in a positive way with my best semester ever. I finished with a 3.7 GPA which is equivalent to an A-. I totally rocked this semester!

Unfortunately, my vacation will be short lived as I just got an email this morning advising me that I have two exams on January 7 with about a 100 pages to read and study. As a bonus, I need a 90% to pass each exam. Yehaw! Such is the life of a student. I'm still going to spend a few days in my PJs. Humph

October Méli-Mélo

I’ve had ideas for posts rolling around my head for weeks now, but just haven’t had the time to write them down. So here is a general update on my life:

Family
First, I’ll start with the bad news. My 14 year old nephew Alex was diagnosed with H1N1 yesterday. He went to emerg after having trouble breathing, they did a swab and called a few hours later to confirm it was H1N1. The rational part of me knows that 99% of people who get this will be fine in a few days, but I'm still a little worried. I hope he's ok, and I hope it doesn't spread through my family. My other sister has Diabetes, so does her son and her husband has MS.... I don't want to think of what could happen if it spread to them.

School
As mentioned in my previous post, I had been following a family through the last months of pregnancy. It was a wonderful experience. The mother was afraid I would be traumatised by the experience and wouldn’t want to have kids. I told her if I could have the amount of control she had, labour should be easy peasy. She gave birth without an epidural or any drugs. She meditated through her contractions and was so completely focused I was amazed.

I finished the project this week with a post-partum visit with the family and do a physical assessment of the new babe. Everything went perfectly. The little one was so cooperative and I managed to finish my assessment with flying colours. Now I just have to finish my report for Monday and I’m done!

The rest of my classes are going really well. My first set of exams and projects were a few weeks ago and I did really well on all of them. The one I wrote the day I attended the birth wasn’t all that great, but considering I was pretty exhausted, I’m happy with it.

Work
Tomorrow is my last shift at Cora’s. YAY!!!! I gave my two week notice when I accepted a temporary job with public health. As of this week I’ll be joining the craziness and administrating H1N1 vaccines. I’m hoping the money I’ll make over the next few months will sustain me for some time in the new year.

Home Life
Mr. Perfect moved in a week ago and my last tenant moved out. Wheeee! The move went really well and we’re almost done reorganising the house. So far things couldn’t be better. In fact, we’re so happy we’re practically annoying!

September Méli-Mélo

School Life
Last week I started my third year in nursing. I can’t believe I’m actually in my THIRD year! I’m not sure why, but it feels like I suddenly have street cred when it comes to my studies. With two years under my belt I feel much more like a nurse. It’s an awesome feeling. It’s also great to know that I’m at least halfway done... and maybe more if I am accepted in the accelerated program (I’ll know by the end of the semester).

This semester is all about the specialties: pediatrics, labour & delivery, psychiatry, community health, as well as a few classes on nursing theory. It’s nice not to have any clinical practicum mixed in with my classes. Starting in January, though, I’ll have 6 months of clinical work.


Home Life
I’m still searching for a new roommate. I can pretty much scratch off September, but I’m hoping I’ll get someone by October. In the last 8 months I’ve had 4 months with at least one vacant room. That’s really tough on the finances.

Last Saturday Mr. Perfect helped me out with a few home projects, including cutting down trees and replacing missing boards on my patio. I was so grateful for his help! I keep looking at my patio and can’t believe the boards have FINALLY been replaced! I’ve been “planning” on doing it since April. Mr. Perfect also got an introduction to my wacky sense of organization. The following conversation took place, as we were about to go work on the patio:
Mr.Perfect: “Where’s the cat’s paw (nail puller), I lent you a few months ago?”
Me: “Ummm… I think it’s in my office… on my desk”
Mr. Perfect: “Of course... office... makes complete sense”
Mr. Perfect: “Didn’t you say you bought nails? Where are they”
Me (giggling): “In the kitchen… in the drawer where I keep my dishcloths”
Me (about to go outside to do some work): “I’ll be right there. I just have to get my hammer”
Mr. Perfect looks at me with a look that says “And where might your hammer be?”
Me: “I keep my hammer in my filing cabinet.” :-)

Love Life
Obviously, Mr. Perfect and I are still going strong. Returning to my school routine has been tough as we were used to seeing each other almost every day, but we are making it work. We'd like to move in together eventually, but we are trying to be responsible about it and take our time with that decision. We don't want to move in together just because I need a new roommate... we want it to be for the right reasons.

I Rock.

I finally got back all the results from my exams and my final scores.

Biology: C
Pathophysiology: B-
Pharmacology: B-
Clinical Practicum: B-
Health Assessment: B+
Environmental Health: B+
Nursing and Wellness: A-

I'm really happy with the results, especially since I started off the year lower than i had hopped. Yay me! :-)


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The worst is over... exam wise, anyway.

I finished my fourth exam this morning and now I don’t have anything until Thursday! Wheeeee! I’m done all the though ones and all I have left are the last two easier ones. Today I’m taking the entire day off and doing fun things I haven’t had time to do in a while like clean the house, do laundry and groceries and maybe even head to the dog park with Pacha.

This morning's exam went really well. It was a stressful one as it was biology and my mid-term didn't go so well. I'm quite confident that I passed that exam hands down, but now we wait and see just how well I actually did.

I’m going to try to have the talk with Mr. Maybe tonight so, as usual, I will keep you posted.


...

Oh. My. God.

I received an exemption for my psych class AND my chemistry class! I can't freakin' believe it!!! I started screaming when I saw EX posted next to the two classes online.

There was a small (like microscopic) chance I might get an exemption for psych because the class wasn't being given in the Spring and I could have been held back a year, but I seriously never expected to receive an exemption for both classes.

I'm saving a thousand bucks by not having to take these!

I am beyond excited!


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Tired Out From Studying

Clearly, Pacha is exhausted just watching me study:



One exam done... five to go. I'll be home free in 9 days. Wheeeeee!


...

What the hell happened there?

I received the results from my biology exam from a few weeks back. I got a score of 48%! What the hell? I knew the exam had been tough but I never expected to bomb that bad! I was thinking maybe a low 70. I really need to go see the prof because I have no idea what went wrong there. A lot of people who had scores in the 30’s to 50’s, had 70’s to 90’s on the last exam, so maybe there was a problem with the exam? A third of the class didn’t pass. I’m not stressed about not passing that class. I’m currently passing based on the average of my two exams, but it is a piss off!


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Sprintime Méli-Mélo

I haven’t been updating because it’s been so busy lately. Here’s a hodgepodge of what’s going on in my life.

Home Life
After almost two months of searching for a roommate, I finally found someone a little over a week ago. I can say that I’m really happy to have that weight lifted off my shoulders… but I can’t stand the guy! I’m calling the new guy Big Rig because that’s what he drives… and that’s what takes over my street when he parks it in front of my house. He’s in his late 20’s and going through a divorce. He needed a place for a few months to get his “stuff” together. He’s a talker and insists on chatting away while I try to study or do homework. The fact that I don’t comment the whole time he is complaining about his difficult situation hasn’t clued him in that I am not interested! I’m thinking of wearing earplugs and pretending I don’t hear him when he talks to me.

Work Life
Still working at the restaurant on weekends and still wish I didn’t have to. I pretty much have my summer job lined up with the hospital. Since I have to do a clinical all of June (but am off May, July and August), it’s a bit tricky to work around.

School Life
I’ll be done school in exactly one month! Today is the first day I’ve had a small reprieve from all my exams. I have a few less stressful days and then I jump back in for my finals. Overall, I’m doing fairly well, but I can tell I don’t have the stamina I did before Christmas. However, I think everyone is feeling the crunch.

Summer School Life
I found out today I have to do two classes during the Spring/Summer term: chemistry and psych. I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t get credited for the two chemistry classes I did last year and would have to do another chemistry class, but I figured psych would be covered no problem. I’ve done four psych classes in the past (first year and second year classes), but apparently they are not equivalent to this one first year class. I was so pissed off when I heard this! Frack. That means dishing out another 1000$ in May, plus having three hour classes on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. PLUS, these classes are going to creep over into my clinical in June. I’ll likely be losing my mind during the first two weeks of June!

You know what? You would think that having an eight year relationship with a psych major AND seeing a psychologist on an almost yearly basis for most of my adult life would count for something!

Love Life
Still seeing Mr. Maybe. I’ve decided I will not enter into any “dangerous” conversations until after my exams. For now, it’s the status quo.


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