So Busted

Since our first appointment at the fertility clinic, we’ve had a few initial tests done. Last week the clinic called and asked us to come in to discuss the results. We were nervous because we weren't done all the tests and we figured they wouldn’t be calling us in if everything was perfect. We went in for our appointment on Friday and the news wasn’t good. They’ve discovered some anomalies that makes it really difficult for us to get pregnant on our own. In theory we could get pregnant on our own, but the chance of that happening is about 0.6%. They said our best chance to conceive would be through IVF with ICSI. :-(

ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection, pronounced "icksy") is an in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedure in which a single sperm is injected directly into an egg. You could say it's a step beyond IVF. With IVF they put the egg and the sperms together and hope they fertilize, while with ICSI you pay a couple grand more for the fertilization to be done manually. The doctor said our chances of conceiving with ICSI are about 40% to 50%. At least our chances are really good. I still have some testing to be done, so here's hoping there aren't any other issues.

 Obviously, we are both devastated. After a quick meeting with the doctor, we were whisked away to see the nurse who went through all the procedures and pricing and the boat load of tests that need to be done. I started to bawl, I just couldn’t control my emotions. We went from everything is normal to things really aren’t good and we were both blind-sided. The information session with the nurse was so overwhelming.... I'm not even sure I know what she said. I really didn't think I would be so overwhelmed... I'm a nurse, I should get this shit!

 Anyway, we are slowly coming to terms with the diagnosis. I actually never thought there would be anything wrong and the fertility clinic was only going to help us speed things along with an IUI because of my age. All our tests kept coming back negative, so I just never thought...

 We're definitely going to proceed with the IVF with ICSI, we just have to figure out the financial aspect of it. We've decided to focus on having this first child and not worry about whether we can have several (which was our bigger concern before the appointment). We've put adoption on the back burner because it's just too much to deal with right now. It looks like we have a few months of tests and preps to do... not to mention figuring out the finances... so maybe in the Spring.