The 15 year old in me

Early this year I saw an Oprah episode about teens and sex. Now, I’m not much of an Oprah fan, but this show on at my Mom’s place and I half listened to the topic. One set of guests caught my attention:

From the episode:

Oprah introduced viewers to Pierce and Courtney, a 15 year-old couple who have been together for 3 months and say they are ready to have sex. The couple admit to doing everything sexual together besides having intercourse, and said they loved each other and were ready to take it to the next level.

After commending them on their respect and connection with each other, Dr. Berman moved forward with asking Courtney and Pierce difficult questions about their relationship to see if they were truly ready to have sex. Among the questions asked, Dr. Berman asked the pair what would happen after they had sex; how long they planned to stay together. When Dr. Berman asked the teens how long they wanted to be together, they both answered that they would like to stay together for a long time. When Dr. Berman asked how long that was, Pierce shared that for him a long time is 6 months to a year. Courtney seemed very surprised by his answer.

I sometimes think about that girl and realize how we are often still 15 year old girls with our perfect ideals on relationships. Most women, whether 15 or 55, date with the intention of finding a partner. Men, on the other hand, aren’t always wired the same way. I didn’t want to be like Courtney and assumed Mr. perfect and I were on the same page, when maybe we weren’t even reading the same book! So, earlier this week, I asked him what he sees for us in the future.

I started cautiously, always wanting to protect my heart, so I asked him if he thinks about us 6 months down the road. He seemed puzzled by the question and told me he never really thought about us 6 months into the future. I was momentarily crushed. Then he added, I think about us further down the road, like after you’ve graduated, but not 6 months down the road. What happens in 6 months? I just had to laugh. :-) The discussion proceeded to the possibility of one day moving in together, what we imagined a future my look like; would he move in with me or would I move in with him, how long before kids would be in the picture. I’m very excited to report that I’m no Courtney. We are definitely on the same page.

We’ve only been together a couple of months so we definitely aren’t packing boxes just yet, but if things continue the way they are right now, who knows were I’ll be in a year from now!



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