Rant #1
First of all, this snow is getting on my nerves. It’s been endless snowstorms for the entire month of December. It’s getting to the point that shoveling has become a daily ritual. There is so much snow and no place to put it anymore! The snowbanks are at least 5 feet high and growing. My driveway seems to be shrinking on a daily basis. However, salvation is on the way. My brother-in-law has arranged to have someone snowblow my driveway tonight. It’s a one shot deal, but at least it should help us clear the piles of snow until the next storm. A few pics for the time being:
The front door
View from the front door
View from the back window
Rant #2
Then, there’s my Mom. I’m annoyed with her today because we had a little falling out this morning. You see, yesterday was New Year’s day and we had supper at my Mom’s place. After supper she brought out plates of cookies, a box of Ferrero Rochers and two boxes of chocolates. Why does this upset me? It upsets me because there is no reason for all that junk food… particularly in my family. I mean, I have a sister who and a nephew who are diabetic, my Mom has high cholesterol, another sister who is trying to loose weight and eat healthily after having had uterine cancer and a 10-year-old nephew who is clearly over weight. Plus, I think I have a food compulsion. I make light of it most of the time, joking about eating Two-Bite brownies, but when you stuff yourself to the point of making yourself sick, there is clearly something wrong. Would my Mom take out a pack of cigarettes and pass it around? No! But all this crap is just as bad. She doesn’t seem to see that she is poisoning not only herself, but her kids and her grand-children too.
Anyway, this morning I asked her why she goes out and buys all this stuff and of course she got upset. She says she only does it at Christmas which is freakin’ bullshit! She buys this crap because she wants it but doesn’t want to feel guilty eating it so by having us stuff our faces, it relieves her guilt. She was pissed and ended the conversation abruptly. I just know she is going to call one of my sisters and say: ”I can’t do anything right”. Ugh.
It just really upsets me because I feel like my eating issues stem from my upbringing. My Mom was always “dieting” when I was growing up and always complained about her weight issues. She would also hide junk food and eat it in secrecy. I find myself doing that as well. Like, sometimes I will buy junk and eat it in my room so my roommates don’t see me. :-( It worries me and it makes me scared for the example I will be setting for my future children. Last night my Mom saw me take more Ferrero Rocher and stuff it down my mouth and she laughed. She thinks it's funny that I stuff myself to the point of being sick. She finds it cute because she thinks it makes me happy… no! It makes me sick. It makes me feel bad about myself. Grrr.
Rant #3
Now, about a boy. New Year’s Eve I went out with mystery airport guy (MAG… I’d use his real name, but I’m afraid it would be too much commitment and would jinx me). We went out for supper and actually had a lovely evening. We came home around 11, watched a little TV until the New Year and then he left at 12:05 because I had to work the next morning. Everything was going good with us, but around 11:30 his phone rang. He looks at the number and doesn’t recognise it so he answers. I can hear the other person talking and it’s a girl… it’s his ex-fiancée. He left her in July. She asks him where he is and he says Moncton. She asks him what he did that evening and he says he went out for supper and then she asks him if he can talk and he says no. He hangs up and tells me it was his ex (at least he told me, right). He was clearly upset and just adds, I don’t know why she is calling me… I don’t like it, he adds. I asked him if they’ve talked since they broke-up and he says 4 or 5 times. I’m not sure what to make of this. Seems to me you don’t call your ex close to midnight on New Year’s Even unless you are trying to get him back. I have no issues with exs being friends and I’ve been trying to push it aside, but it’s been bothering me. I want to ask him if he called her back, but I don’t want to seem like the jealous type. I realise he is the one who left, but I also know he really loved her. My understanding is he left because he thought she was cheating on him and that she wasn’t treating him well. It’s different then what happened between Mike and I. I mean, I left but I was miserable with him even though he was not mean or bad to me. I wonder if there is a part of MAG that wishes she would change and that they could get back together. I know how difficult that first year can be even if you are the one who did the leaving. I just remember how I was 6 months after leaving Mike and it’s safe to say I was a complete mess! Anyway, I guess this isn’t really a rant, but more of a mini-complaint, but rant fit the theme better.
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