Monday, December 29, 2008

Things you wish you could say – the dating edition

One of my favourite websites often has a “things you wish you could say” discussion. For the most part it’s filled with work complaints, bitching about in-laws or matrimonial gripes. I think dating could use it’s own things you wish you could say, so here goes.

“I really like. Do you like me?” Sadly, this cannot be said because it sounds needy, desperate and may cause a boy to run.

“I want kids. If there is any chance you will not want kids, feel free to walk out the door now.” Again, this cannot be said because any guy will think you’re just looking for a Baby Daddy and will be out that door whether he wants kids one day or not.

“I have chronic depression. When I tell you this one day, will you freak out and bail?” Another thing you can’t say until you’re confident he really likes you. Of course, waiting means you’ll be investing in something that might end in disaster because you just never know what someone’s preconceived notions on the subject are.

“Where is this going?” Nope. Don’t even go there.

After I ended things with Mike, I told myself I would never again erase myself so I could be the person my partner wants me to be. However, I’m finding it so hard to be me, when I can’t say the things that are so important to me. Blarg. I know some of you are saying, don’t be ridiculous Changa! There is nothing wrong with being honest! What’s with the head games? Believe me. I’ve learned from my own mistakes that you just shouldn’t reveal too much of yourself too early. I used to be honest about exactly what I want out of life and it made a lot of little boys run away from the scary ol’ assertive lady. So now I wait. I wonder. I try not to forget who I am in the mean time.

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