2008 is a leap year which means it has 1 extra day tacked on to the end of February. I had always assumed leap year was every four years, but it seems it’s not that simple. A leap year is one that can be divided by 4, but not divided by 100 unless in can be divided by 400. Confused yet? It basically means that 1800, 1900 and 2100 are NOT leap years, but 2000 and 2400 are leap years.
Leap Year has been the traditional time that women can propose marriage. Obviously these rules don’t really apply to modern day courtship, but when the rules were stricter, women were only allowed to pop the question on one day every four years. That day was February 29th. Apparently this tradition was started in 5th century Ireland when St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick about women having to wait so long for men to get off their ass and propose! According to legend, St. Patrick said the yearning females could propose on this one day in February during the leap year.
Maybe this is an omen. Maybe today is the day where I don’t need to wait for the universe to get off its lazy ass and offer me what I want… maybe it’s the one day that I can tell the universe what I want and it has no choice but to give it to me. Hmmmm… such prospect for the day.
So what are you going to do with your extra day?
Friday, February 29, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Even my Hair Hurts
You know when you feel all feverish and your skin hurts and you could even go as far as saying your hair hurts? That’s me today. I’m home sick from work with a crazy cold. The timing couldn’t be worse as I have a major math exam on Monday.
When I called in sick my boss was none too happy. I can barely speak so it was pretty obvious I wasn’t faking it. He told me he would “let it slide” for today but that tomorrow I had no choice but to go in. Another waitress was in a car accident so he is running short. Apparently car accident trumps killer cold.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I would want a sickly waitress delivery MY food. But maybe I’m just weird.
When I called in sick my boss was none too happy. I can barely speak so it was pretty obvious I wasn’t faking it. He told me he would “let it slide” for today but that tomorrow I had no choice but to go in. Another waitress was in a car accident so he is running short. Apparently car accident trumps killer cold.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I would want a sickly waitress delivery MY food. But maybe I’m just weird.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
One Effed-Up Cookie
So here’s the thing. Back in December, early January I was really feeling the stress of school, work and finances. The stress was coming out through obsessing over my house and having everything in its place. Weird; I know. Anyway, I decided to tap into some free resources at University so I could figure out how to manage this ever-growing stress. I decided to go see a counselor to help me figure out how to better manage my time. The interesting thing about counselors is sometimes they know just the right questions to ask. Sometimes you don’t even realise something bigger is wrong until someone asks the right question. This is what happened when I went to see a counselor at University.
What started out as a few meetings on stress management has turned into a major self-evaluation. Lately, I’ve been asking myself some serious questions about my obsession with having things just so. Yeah, I’m a perfectionist, but my standards are bizarre. It’s not like I seek perfection in everything and it’s not like my idea of “perfection” is always the same. For instance, perfection when it comes to my home means having a clean kitchen… but it’s ok if my room is messy. Perfection when it comes to school means getting an A in nutrition but only getting a passing grade in physics. It’s all so irrational. Then there are the lifetime goals. For the last four years I’ve tried to convince myself that if I don’t get married it’s ok… but yesterday I finally admitted it: If I don’t get married and have kids, I’m a failure. This is truly how I feel. It’s the ultimate failure in my eyes. Now these standards don’t apply to everyone – just to me. If you’re reading this and unmarried don’t freak out! I don’t judge others… I only take pleasure in judging myself it seems. *Sigh*
I’ve also realised that I’m not over my relationship with Mike. This pisses me off because it’s been four freakin’ years. It’s not him I’m not over, it’s the fact that I failed, that I haven’t gotten over. Even though I agree that it was the best decision ever, even though I know that we weren’t meant to be, even though I admit that neither one of us was happy – I still failed. I just don’t know how to let go of the guilt and forgive myself. I mean, I’m clearly happier without him. He is likely happier without me… then why do I still feel guilty?
I also realise that’ I’m never going to meet Mr. Right until I get passed this. It’s like my aura screams out: she’s got issues! Keep moving Dude.
In addition I’ve become conscious of my tendency to set irrational goals I must attain. When I first started seeing Mike I automatically decided I was going to marry him and that was it. For the almost 8 years we were together I never doubted myself because that was the goal I had chosen… anything else would be failure. Who makes these irrational decisions at 20? When I make a decision I don’t go back on it. I always assumed I didn’t’ go back on decisions because they were always the right decisions… but maybe it has nothing to do with being right or wrong but with failing or passing. Going back on a decision means failing… pushing through with the decision means passing. I hate how everything is always so black and white with me. Why can’t I see life in shades of gray?
So all of this is making me worry a little about my career decision. I mean, I still feel confident about my choice… but what if this confidence is false? What if it’s just another of my “decisions” that I can’t go back on?
You see why I’m still single? You see why I’m a 30-something freshman? It’s cause everything goes all blurry in my brain and I can’t distinguish between what Changa truly wants and want Changa thinks society wants from her.
The irony of all this is the new direction my blog has taken. I’m such a goof! My blog says I am going against societal norms… societal norms? Bullshit. I’m the one putting pressure on myself. I mean, here I am screaming I am Changa hear me roar! I am a strong, independent woman and I don’t need a man – rah, rah, rah. When the truth is, I’m desperately hoping some prince will swoop in and save me.
So yeah, baby’s got issues.
What started out as a few meetings on stress management has turned into a major self-evaluation. Lately, I’ve been asking myself some serious questions about my obsession with having things just so. Yeah, I’m a perfectionist, but my standards are bizarre. It’s not like I seek perfection in everything and it’s not like my idea of “perfection” is always the same. For instance, perfection when it comes to my home means having a clean kitchen… but it’s ok if my room is messy. Perfection when it comes to school means getting an A in nutrition but only getting a passing grade in physics. It’s all so irrational. Then there are the lifetime goals. For the last four years I’ve tried to convince myself that if I don’t get married it’s ok… but yesterday I finally admitted it: If I don’t get married and have kids, I’m a failure. This is truly how I feel. It’s the ultimate failure in my eyes. Now these standards don’t apply to everyone – just to me. If you’re reading this and unmarried don’t freak out! I don’t judge others… I only take pleasure in judging myself it seems. *Sigh*
I’ve also realised that I’m not over my relationship with Mike. This pisses me off because it’s been four freakin’ years. It’s not him I’m not over, it’s the fact that I failed, that I haven’t gotten over. Even though I agree that it was the best decision ever, even though I know that we weren’t meant to be, even though I admit that neither one of us was happy – I still failed. I just don’t know how to let go of the guilt and forgive myself. I mean, I’m clearly happier without him. He is likely happier without me… then why do I still feel guilty?
I also realise that’ I’m never going to meet Mr. Right until I get passed this. It’s like my aura screams out: she’s got issues! Keep moving Dude.
In addition I’ve become conscious of my tendency to set irrational goals I must attain. When I first started seeing Mike I automatically decided I was going to marry him and that was it. For the almost 8 years we were together I never doubted myself because that was the goal I had chosen… anything else would be failure. Who makes these irrational decisions at 20? When I make a decision I don’t go back on it. I always assumed I didn’t’ go back on decisions because they were always the right decisions… but maybe it has nothing to do with being right or wrong but with failing or passing. Going back on a decision means failing… pushing through with the decision means passing. I hate how everything is always so black and white with me. Why can’t I see life in shades of gray?
So all of this is making me worry a little about my career decision. I mean, I still feel confident about my choice… but what if this confidence is false? What if it’s just another of my “decisions” that I can’t go back on?
You see why I’m still single? You see why I’m a 30-something freshman? It’s cause everything goes all blurry in my brain and I can’t distinguish between what Changa truly wants and want Changa thinks society wants from her.
The irony of all this is the new direction my blog has taken. I’m such a goof! My blog says I am going against societal norms… societal norms? Bullshit. I’m the one putting pressure on myself. I mean, here I am screaming I am Changa hear me roar! I am a strong, independent woman and I don’t need a man – rah, rah, rah. When the truth is, I’m desperately hoping some prince will swoop in and save me.
So yeah, baby’s got issues.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Bang your Head Against the Wall Boring
Oh. My. God. My French class makes me want to vomit. I’ve never seen anything as useless and as stupid as this class. I can’t believe I pay for this mediocrity. Nor can I believe that it is a requirement for ANY degree at U de M. Gah!
The course consists of two 75 minutes classes a week. I can’t tell you a single thing I’ve learnt so far this year. The first class the teacher spent the entire 75 minutes explaining the syllabus. This is a writing class. All we do is write essays – there isn’t much to explain. In another class, she spent 75 minutes answering questions on what is considered repetition; i.e. both the terms I run and I ran are considered repetitions. Yes. Even if the verbs are in different tenses it is considered a repetition. I don’t know if she simply doesn’t know how to teach or if it’s the fact that incredibly dim-witted and self-centered students surround her, but something clearly isn’t working.
Today she spent 75 minutes deciding on an alternative date for an exam. 75 freakin’ minutes. She would suggest a date and some idiot student would cry out, “but I have another exam that day” so she would suggest another date and yet another student would call out that they have another exam that day... or that they have to work the night before and won’t have time to prepare… or that they have band practice right before and might not be able to make to the class. Then she freaks out because nobody can agree on a date. Gah! You’re the freakin’ teacher lady! Just tell them that’s the exam date and to shut the fuck up. By this time I’m fuming at the complete waste of time this class has become so I suggest she write the three possible dates on the blackboard, take a vote and just stick with the majority. She says it’s a good idea, but instead of proceeding with this “good idea” she keeps yelling out dates and round and round we go.
Finally, at the end of the “class” she gives us the first essays she’s graded. I’m floored by my score: 64%. I want to scream when I see nimrod next to me got a 70% and idiot on the other side got a 74%. Scoring is divided into 2 parts: 50% is on the content, idea, style, etc., while 50% is on grammar. I got 50/50 for content and 14/50 for grammar. I am completely pissed off at myself. I spent so much time working on the content that I ran out of time and hastily rewrote the text without a second to review it. I had 9 errors at 4 points an error. Ugh. I'm a slave to spell check - what else can I say.
I had no other choice but to head immediately home and write this rant. Grrrr.
The course consists of two 75 minutes classes a week. I can’t tell you a single thing I’ve learnt so far this year. The first class the teacher spent the entire 75 minutes explaining the syllabus. This is a writing class. All we do is write essays – there isn’t much to explain. In another class, she spent 75 minutes answering questions on what is considered repetition; i.e. both the terms I run and I ran are considered repetitions. Yes. Even if the verbs are in different tenses it is considered a repetition. I don’t know if she simply doesn’t know how to teach or if it’s the fact that incredibly dim-witted and self-centered students surround her, but something clearly isn’t working.
Today she spent 75 minutes deciding on an alternative date for an exam. 75 freakin’ minutes. She would suggest a date and some idiot student would cry out, “but I have another exam that day” so she would suggest another date and yet another student would call out that they have another exam that day... or that they have to work the night before and won’t have time to prepare… or that they have band practice right before and might not be able to make to the class. Then she freaks out because nobody can agree on a date. Gah! You’re the freakin’ teacher lady! Just tell them that’s the exam date and to shut the fuck up. By this time I’m fuming at the complete waste of time this class has become so I suggest she write the three possible dates on the blackboard, take a vote and just stick with the majority. She says it’s a good idea, but instead of proceeding with this “good idea” she keeps yelling out dates and round and round we go.
Finally, at the end of the “class” she gives us the first essays she’s graded. I’m floored by my score: 64%. I want to scream when I see nimrod next to me got a 70% and idiot on the other side got a 74%. Scoring is divided into 2 parts: 50% is on the content, idea, style, etc., while 50% is on grammar. I got 50/50 for content and 14/50 for grammar. I am completely pissed off at myself. I spent so much time working on the content that I ran out of time and hastily rewrote the text without a second to review it. I had 9 errors at 4 points an error. Ugh. I'm a slave to spell check - what else can I say.
I had no other choice but to head immediately home and write this rant. Grrrr.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Construction Ahead
I'm still reworking the new look so please bear with me. I'm having trouble matching what I want to create with the template options available.
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I’ve finally settled on a design... and it only took 227 versions before I got it right. :-)
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I’ve finally settled on a design... and it only took 227 versions before I got it right. :-)
Friday, February 15, 2008
New Direction
Since I was ranting more than I was running, I decided to change my blog’s focus. Welcome to the Square Peg Chronicles - hope you enjoy it!
I’d love some feedback!
I’d love some feedback!
Strike It!
It looks like the professors at University will likely go on strike at some point in the next few weeks. My initial reaction to the news was a great big UGH. However, since looking into the matter, it appears my schedule will barely be disrupted. Since part-time profs aren’t under union legislation they are obligated to keep teaching. My physics, math and French profs are all part-time so the strike will not have any effect for these classes. My physics lab and my chemistry class, however, will be cancelled. From what I understand, it won’t be necessary to keep up with class requirements while classes are cancelled – which means overall subject matter will be cut and less information will be taught/tested. This really isn’t a bad thing as neither of the classes is really necessary for my subsequent years in the program.
Plus, I might even be able to pick up an extra shift at the restaurant, as I won’t have any classes on Wednesdays. All in all, it might even be a good thing!
In other news, I kicked ass on my physics exam with an awesome B+!! WAHOO!
Plus, I might even be able to pick up an extra shift at the restaurant, as I won’t have any classes on Wednesdays. All in all, it might even be a good thing!
In other news, I kicked ass on my physics exam with an awesome B+!! WAHOO!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Snow and I are on OK terms today
For the first time this winter I’m actually not hating the snow. Sure, I’ll have to shovel my little heart out tonight or tomorrow morning, but at least I get a day off! Have I mentioned that Moncton has had 332 cm of snow so far this winter?
Today’s schedule included 2 of the most boring classes evah: my physics pre-lab and my 3-hour physics lab. Blarg! I had been praying all day that school would be cancelled with no such luck. I was checking my email every half-hour for the faithful words but they just didn’t come. Then, just as I was about to leave for class, I checked my email one last time and there were the most glorious words: campus will be closed as of 1:30 PM. SWEET!
I did, however, make a silent prayer to God (or is it the Gods?) that if I didn’t have school I wouldn’t screw around all afternoon but take advantage of the free time to study. I guess that means I should get to it.
One small piece of news before I go – This morning we had a health and education career fair on campus and I attended hoping to get info on summer jobs. One of the recruiting agents at the English hospital almost jumped for joy when I told her I had a communications background and current science/health studies. She took a copy of my resume, jotted down my info and said she would definitely be calling me. I guess that’s good news on the summer job front. Oh, and I also did the initial testing for a placement with the federal government. I guess now we wait and see.
Today’s schedule included 2 of the most boring classes evah: my physics pre-lab and my 3-hour physics lab. Blarg! I had been praying all day that school would be cancelled with no such luck. I was checking my email every half-hour for the faithful words but they just didn’t come. Then, just as I was about to leave for class, I checked my email one last time and there were the most glorious words: campus will be closed as of 1:30 PM. SWEET!
I did, however, make a silent prayer to God (or is it the Gods?) that if I didn’t have school I wouldn’t screw around all afternoon but take advantage of the free time to study. I guess that means I should get to it.
One small piece of news before I go – This morning we had a health and education career fair on campus and I attended hoping to get info on summer jobs. One of the recruiting agents at the English hospital almost jumped for joy when I told her I had a communications background and current science/health studies. She took a copy of my resume, jotted down my info and said she would definitely be calling me. I guess that’s good news on the summer job front. Oh, and I also did the initial testing for a placement with the federal government. I guess now we wait and see.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Why I Need a Man
Forget love, sex, partnership and emotional support! Here are the real reasons I need a boyfriend:
I need a man to kill ugly creepy crawly spiders
I need a man to open to pickle jar when it gets stuck
I need a man to go check downstairs when I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night
I need a man to fix the toilet when it gets plugged (happened yesterday)
I need a man to shovel my driveway when I can’t feel my arms anymore
I need a man to reach the top shelf when I can’t get my favourite bowl
And above all, I need a man to push my car when it gets stuck in a snow bank like it did this morning, forcing me to miss my class and call my sister at work (in a panic) to come bail me out.
Do I ever need a boyfriend!
I need a man to kill ugly creepy crawly spiders
I need a man to open to pickle jar when it gets stuck
I need a man to go check downstairs when I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night
I need a man to fix the toilet when it gets plugged (happened yesterday)
I need a man to shovel my driveway when I can’t feel my arms anymore
I need a man to reach the top shelf when I can’t get my favourite bowl
And above all, I need a man to push my car when it gets stuck in a snow bank like it did this morning, forcing me to miss my class and call my sister at work (in a panic) to come bail me out.
Do I ever need a boyfriend!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Happy Birthday to Me!
It’s my birthday today and for the first time in my life I feel old. I realise 32 really isn’t that old, but I also realise I can easily be referred to as 30-something or mid-thrities. It feels really weird.
Anyway, enough with the self-pitying!
I woke up today to find that a mystery shoveling fairy cleared the snow behind my car. I was quite excited about this… but the mystery shoveler also pushed all the snow from my side of the driveway to my roommate’s side of the driveway. OOPS. Since my roommate was out of town today it wasn’t so much of a problem for the morning. However, during the day, the pile of snow turned into blocks of ice. Ugh. I shoveled for a good two hours trying to clear her side. The driveway still isn’t completely done and I’m praying said roommate won’t be home tonight. I just can’t shovel anymore! :-(
Yesterday my Mom had a family dinner at her place for my birthday. It was a nice supper but the best part was the dessert: a chocolate buffet complete with chocolate candies, chocolate cake, chocolate brownies and chocolate milk! YUM! Of course my niece and nephews thought the idea was fantastic.
My 10-year old nephew Sébastien also gave me a wonderful gift. Since my sister had already given me my birthday gift (a giant shovel I had requested), this gift was specifically from Sébastien. He had chosen it especially for me because he just knew I would absolutely love it. What was this wonderful gift? A Koopa Troopa of course! :-) For those of you who are not 10-year old boys, Koopa Troopa is the Super Mario character seen below.
My nephew loves his Gamecube, as all little boys do, and sometimes I'll play a game or two with him. A year ago or so we were playing Super Mario Kart when Seb asked me who my favourite character was. I told him it was the green turtle-like thing to which he proudly said, Koopa Troopa! Since then, every time we see a Koopa he points them out to me (since they are my favourite). Well, apparently he had seen my Koopa Troopa back in November and told his mother; “ Oh Mommy, we absolutely have to get that Koopa Troopa for Danielle! She would so love it!” My sister told him maybe for Christmas hoping he would forget about it. After Christmas they saw the Koopa again, and, again he asked if he could buy it for me. As she did the last time she told him he could buy it for my birthday hoping he would forget. Well, he didn’t forget! So off they went to Gamezilla to buy me a birthday Koopa Troopa!
I have to admit, I adore the gift! It has Sébastien written all over it! Here's my Koopa just hanging out on the couch.
Anyway, enough with the self-pitying!
I woke up today to find that a mystery shoveling fairy cleared the snow behind my car. I was quite excited about this… but the mystery shoveler also pushed all the snow from my side of the driveway to my roommate’s side of the driveway. OOPS. Since my roommate was out of town today it wasn’t so much of a problem for the morning. However, during the day, the pile of snow turned into blocks of ice. Ugh. I shoveled for a good two hours trying to clear her side. The driveway still isn’t completely done and I’m praying said roommate won’t be home tonight. I just can’t shovel anymore! :-(
Yesterday my Mom had a family dinner at her place for my birthday. It was a nice supper but the best part was the dessert: a chocolate buffet complete with chocolate candies, chocolate cake, chocolate brownies and chocolate milk! YUM! Of course my niece and nephews thought the idea was fantastic.
My 10-year old nephew Sébastien also gave me a wonderful gift. Since my sister had already given me my birthday gift (a giant shovel I had requested), this gift was specifically from Sébastien. He had chosen it especially for me because he just knew I would absolutely love it. What was this wonderful gift? A Koopa Troopa of course! :-) For those of you who are not 10-year old boys, Koopa Troopa is the Super Mario character seen below.
My nephew loves his Gamecube, as all little boys do, and sometimes I'll play a game or two with him. A year ago or so we were playing Super Mario Kart when Seb asked me who my favourite character was. I told him it was the green turtle-like thing to which he proudly said, Koopa Troopa! Since then, every time we see a Koopa he points them out to me (since they are my favourite). Well, apparently he had seen my Koopa Troopa back in November and told his mother; “ Oh Mommy, we absolutely have to get that Koopa Troopa for Danielle! She would so love it!” My sister told him maybe for Christmas hoping he would forget about it. After Christmas they saw the Koopa again, and, again he asked if he could buy it for me. As she did the last time she told him he could buy it for my birthday hoping he would forget. Well, he didn’t forget! So off they went to Gamezilla to buy me a birthday Koopa Troopa!
I have to admit, I adore the gift! It has Sébastien written all over it! Here's my Koopa just hanging out on the couch.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Round One Complete
After three days of exams I’m finally done for a few weeks. I can’t say it went superbly, but at least it’s done. I was disappointed in my French exam as I felt I just couldn’t get it together during the test. My physics and math exams went fairly well but I’ve learned from previous experience not to get my hopes up too much. I’ll have to wait and see for the results.
Then, there is my chemistry exam. All I can say is WHAT THE FUCK?! It was the most absurd exam I have ever seen! There was nothing even remotely close to what we studied in class. It’s as if in class he told us: an electrolyte is a substance which, once dissolved, conducts electricity. Then, at the exam, he asks: how can an elephant mutate into a frog? WHA?? Ok, that wasn’t a question but that’s certainly what it felt like.
I hate this. Chemistry is supposed to be my B+ class and now I’ve gone and failed my first exam... I’m pretty sure I failed anyway. All this time I’ve been struggling with math and physics… I really didn’t expect to have to worry about chemistry. Ugh. I need a drink.
Fuckity Fuck Fuck.
Then, there is my chemistry exam. All I can say is WHAT THE FUCK?! It was the most absurd exam I have ever seen! There was nothing even remotely close to what we studied in class. It’s as if in class he told us: an electrolyte is a substance which, once dissolved, conducts electricity. Then, at the exam, he asks: how can an elephant mutate into a frog? WHA?? Ok, that wasn’t a question but that’s certainly what it felt like.
I hate this. Chemistry is supposed to be my B+ class and now I’ve gone and failed my first exam... I’m pretty sure I failed anyway. All this time I’ve been struggling with math and physics… I really didn’t expect to have to worry about chemistry. Ugh. I need a drink.
Fuckity Fuck Fuck.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
That's it. I'm done.
After 8 days sans electronics I have given in. Tonight I just needed a mindless break from studying and there was my internet. How I love my internet! *ahhhhh*
I figure 8 days is a pretty good run. Maybe during finals I'll try for 10. I still have three exams left (one down) so it's not like I'll be on here much, but just knowing I can is a big relief. I'm such an addict!
I figure 8 days is a pretty good run. Maybe during finals I'll try for 10. I still have three exams left (one down) so it's not like I'll be on here much, but just knowing I can is a big relief. I'm such an addict!
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