Why I Need a Man

Forget love, sex, partnership and emotional support! Here are the real reasons I need a boyfriend:

I need a man to kill ugly creepy crawly spiders
I need a man to open to pickle jar when it gets stuck
I need a man to go check downstairs when I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night
I need a man to fix the toilet when it gets plugged (happened yesterday)
I need a man to shovel my driveway when I can’t feel my arms anymore
I need a man to reach the top shelf when I can’t get my favourite bowl
And above all, I need a man to push my car when it gets stuck in a snow bank like it did this morning, forcing me to miss my class and call my sister at work (in a panic) to come bail me out.

Do I ever need a boyfriend!