Adventures in online dating

A friend of mine at alpha Betty offered to rewrite my online dating profile. She did an awesome job! I thought I would test it out because I was so happy with it. check it out:

Tagline: Defying dating advice in record time

I’m about to say THE thing that you’re not supposed to blurt out when you’re single and looking: One day, I want to have kids.

If your mouse didn’t just fly like the wind toward that “back” button – hurrah! ;) Be assured, there is much more to me than a desire to have a family (and I’m hardly ready for kids right this second anyway!). I’m also a confident and caring singleton who takes life by the reins while enjoying the little stuff:

THINGS I LOVE: Creating my own happiness (at 31, I left my career in marketing to become a nurse), my awesome family, my hilariously cute dog, cooking with friends, sarcastic and dry wit, enjoying a Rickard’s Red on a hot summer day, following my heart, smart comedies like Dogma and Love Actually, Pad Thai with spring rolls, getting a great run in, my constant musical companions (David Gray, Ben Harper and DMB), taking pride in my home, making lists and lots more!


THINGS I DON’T LOVE: Going out on a cold winter day (I prefer staying in with a glass of wine!), mean pranks, chronic complainers, having to guess what people are thinking and feeling, mushy peas and a refusal to try new things.


ABOUT YOU (I HOPE!): You know what you want out of life and follow your passion. You’re comfortable showing your interest and that you care. You have a healthy relationship with your family. You’re considerate and sensitive but not afraid to speak your mind. You love to laugh – a lot. You’re happily independent but eager to share your life with the right person. Oh, and it’s a bonus if you’re a lanky guy with a bit of a geek vibe – but looks are hardly everything!

If you’re interested, drop me a line!

Since posting it earlier this week, I’ve been keeping a log of weird people who have contacted me online. I often wonder if they even read my profile. Today, I received two emails from guys in their late-50s… even though the very first line of my profile says I want kids. Umm… really? You want a kid before you’re 60? Bah!
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I also got an email from a guy who said: your profile really intrigued me. You seem like an honest and sincere person and these are qualities I really value. When I clicked on his profile his status said he was married and his occupation was vagina inspector. So I guess you value honesty and sincerity in others but not in yourself?
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Another guy who “smiled” at me had this profile. I have no words…

Rules;

1) if you are not gonna meet me in person, dont message me please, Im not on here for endless cyber-chat.
2) if you play head games, dont message me, Ive had enough of that from women on this site. I can spot you coming.
3) if you dont live in moncton or the surrounding area, your wasting my time and yours, tried the long distance thing twice, doesnt work, never will, not with me.
4) I cannot stress this enough, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO COMMITT TO A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP. Im not looking to date, I have enough friends, and if I wanted to get laid, Id pay for it. less headaches that way.
5) I dont care what you look like, I dont care how old you are, I dont care if you have a job. I dont care if your on welfare. I DO CARE IF YOU LIE ABOUT THESE THINGS.
6) Last but not least, if your name is KENDRA, dont message me for any reason, I dont need the BS.

Now, this is me,

I work hard, 2 jobs, I provide for the people I care about. Ive raised 6 kids, all are doing well for themselves. Im open to anyone who has kids, I would even have more if the need was there, I am open to marriage, but it would have to be after a lengthy relationship, been stung to many times. BUT, I do show my feeling freely, not afraid to show my feminine side I guess you women would call it. I do have emotions, hurt me and you will see them.

WARNING. when I meet someone I like, I put alot of time and effort into it, if you dont want to move forward, or are scared of committment, your in the wrong profile.

I will add more as I see fit

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I also got an email from a guy who looks like a member of ZZ Top and claims he’s a Pagan. Niiiiiiicccccce.
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All-round bad writing:

- I want to love you body, mind and sole! Sole… do you mind my shoes or my fish?

- Not interested in someone to live with...interested in someone i can not life without ...

- hi i like to meet i nice woman


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