The end is nigh…

I think my relationship with Mr. Maybe is coming to an end. I’ve thought about this a lot in the last few weeks and I think it’s the right thing to do. My decision was solidified by the events of the last week. Let me run you through them.

Friday April 10 – Spent the day at Fundy National Park with Mr. Maybe. Asked if he wanted to do something that evening, but he said he had plans with his friend M.
Saturday – Called him in the evening to see what he was up too, but he was in no mood to talk. I asked if he had fun the previous evening with his friend, but apparently his friend bailed so he spent the evening home alone. I wonder why he didn’t call
Sunday, Easter – I leave him a message asking if he would like to do something that evening or the following day. He never calls back.
Monday – I send him an email wishing him good luck at his classes (he has to take classes for two months an hour and a half away from here) and ask if there is anything wrong since I hadn’t heard from him. He responds that nothing is wrong and he’s thinking of renting a place while he takes the classes instead of driving back and forth every day. I reply asking him to let me know how his classes went.
Tuesday to Friday – I don’t hear from him all week. I don’t call him because I’m assuming he’s arriving late in the evening and must be pretty tired. I don't know how his classes went and for all i know he could have moved an hour and a half away! I finally give in and call him Friday night. When I ask what he’s doing that evening he says he doesn’t know. He wants to do something, but he called everyone he knows and no one is around. Obviously, I’m hurt by this, because I wasn't even on his radar. When I ask him about his week and his classes he tells me it was super slack and he was back in town most days by mid-afternoon. I feel even more hurt. Why didn’t he call me all week? I cave and ask him if he wants to spend the evening together. He agrees and we end up watching the hockey game. I come to the conclusion that his list of priorities goes a little something like this: his son, his friends, spending the night alone on his couch watching a hockey game... me.

I went out with some friends tonight and that was when it really became clear that “he’s just not that into me”. As I discussed the events of the week, all my friends agreed it’s time to lay it all on the line. One friend adds, “give him an ultimatum; either he makes you a priority or you walk”. But you know what? I don’t think he even gets a choice in the matter. I mean, if he felt about me the way I feel about him he would want to spend more time with me. His actions are one thing, but his feelings are a bigger part of the picture. He clearly doesn’t feel the same way about me. I realize you can be scared of commitment and you can want to take things slow, but if the feelings were really there, he would be able to get passed these issues. I’ve been patient for five months and now I need to think of me. I deserve more than being someone’s occasional girlfriend.

I know people have told me to walk away or to give it one more chance, but I think I had to come to my own decision. I really feel it’s the right thing to do… this relationship has run it’s course. Sure, there's is a tiny part of me that still hopes I try to walk away and he professes his undying love to be, but let’s be real... if this were Hollywood, I'd be living in a bigger house. It's just not going to happen. However, I feel good in my decision. I feel strong about it. As many people know, sometimes it takes me a long time to make a decision, but once I get there I feel good about it... and I don't look back. I’m calm, I’m not teary-eyed and for the first time, I’m certain it feels right.

I have one more major exam tomorrow morning and then I’m done until Thursday so I’m going to try to talk to him either tomorrow night on Monday night. I’m ready to do this.


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