I’m having an anxiety attack. Ok – it’s not exactly an anxiety attack, but panic is settling in. I’m really going to jump and I don’t have a parachute. I don’t do well with uncertainty. I’m a super planner and although I’ve detailed my jump as accurately as possible, there are still a few unanswered questions.
1. Will I be able to find someone to take over my lease?
2. Will I find two more roommates?
3. And the big one: Will I be able to get a student loan or student line of credit?
The first two I can get around for a few months if the third one comes through. However, without the financing I’m toast. I won’t be able to afford my tuition and I wouldn’t be able to eat. Getting rid of my house doesn’t make things any better – it would actually make my financial situation worse! I wouldn’t be getting rental income and paying an apartment would actually be more than my mortgage!
I don’t like the unknown and right now I won’t have any answers for at least another two weeks. I really hate that things are out of my control. Bah! I’m so OC*!!
I’m not panicking in the sense that I’ll be out on the streets – It’s more that I won’t be able to fulfill my dream of going back to school. I won’t be giving my notice until I’m sure about everything and even if I DID give my notice, it would just mean going to school part-time and working part-time for the first semester. Hmmmm…. I think I might have found a way to get around this should the financing fall through. It wouldn’t be ideal, but I could still get all my courses completed by the end of the second semester and be ready to apply for the Radiology program for September 2008.
I love blogging. It actually helped me think things through and subside the heart palpitations. Who knew blogging could act as a stress reliever. :-)
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Just because I know at least one person is not going to get my post:
*Ativan- Drug used to treat severe anxiety
**OC – Obsessive-Compulsive (not Orange County)
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2 comments:
Go talk to someone at the bank about a student line of credit. They're much more forgiving than the student loan people, and the money's usually fairly immediate (vs. the month wait to find out whether you're eligible, etc).
It will all work out, D.
Oh, and 'blogging as a stress reliever' - I totally agree. I started blogging when dad got sick last year, and pretty much journalled the entire journey. It helped keep people up to date when I didn't have the energy to write a bunch of emails, and helped me try and sort my thoughts out.
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